[lit-ideas] Re: Binster Gets Nod for Big Boom
- From: Eric Yost <eyost1132@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: Lit-Ideas <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 05 Jan 2006 20:31:11 -0500
Semul the Barbarian
The Law Firm of Semul, Laknar, and Frisch
14 Legal Beltway
Saginaw, MI
Andreas Ramos
Extropian Seminar Center
Waldorf, CA
Dear Mr. Ramos:
Re: [lit-ideas] Binster Gets Nod for Big Boom
It was with hilarity bordering on amusement that
we reviewed your recent
lit-ideas encyclical, or should I say, your clever
use of the "heart of darkness" defense.
"ARRRRRRRRR," you argued.
Pressed to defend your ambiguous use of terms of
highly privileged dissent, you replied, "Here come
the darkies!"
While it is not the intention or indeed the policy
of this law firm to engage in politics or
controversy---especially as we are a hunted people
scavenging like jackals beyond the outposts of
civilization---it is incumbent on us as executors
of the estate of Huss the Hirsute to notify you of
an glaring factual error in your recent post.
"ARRRRRRRRRRR," as you wrote it, raised more than
a few single-eyebrows on battle-scarred faces
here. There was a spontaneous grasping for the
eight-sided war mace here.
"ARRRRRRRRRRR" is of course, the registered
battle-cry of a gathering of savage peoples
represented by this firm. Many of these savage
peoples---including a number of Ostrogoth lawyers
and savage paralegal professionals---are less
fortunate members of our society for whom
maintaining a consistent permissions department is
part of the long and tortuous burden of
adjustment, happily delegated to this corporation.
In future, Mr. Ramos, please restrict your use of
spurious battle-cries to the generic, "Aiyeeeee!"
This is our standard request for nonpermissioned
use of our cry. We are very sensitive about it.
Again, let me tell you how unusual it was to read
your "ARRRRRRRRRRR." There was something savage in
it, perhaps some of that primitive nobility
Emerson adverted to, or maybe you just had far too
many Jolt Colas. Our shamans cannot discern this.
From shame, we shall behead a young oxen in
somber ritual, roast it, feast upon it, and drink
its hot blood in homage to our battle gods. Our
cries shall echo far into the dark beyond our
encampment.
Somewhat cordially yours,
Semul the Barbarian
The Law Firm of Semul, Laknar, and Frisch
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