[lit-ideas] Re: A timely warning

  • From: John McCreery <john.mccreery@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx" <lit-ideas@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Sat, 25 Jan 2014 17:14:40 +0900

The tux is on. The tartan crumb-catcher in place. Must leave a bit early to 
pick up a bottle of Talisker on the way. Plan to steer clear of unpierced 
haggis.

John

Sent from my iPad

> On 2014/01/25, at 16:16, cblists@xxxxxxxx wrote:
> 
> 
> A goodly portion of the Lit-Ideas membership will no doubt be piping in the 
> haggis later today - to them I offer the following:
> 
> Warning: it is wise to have a small cut made in 
> the haggis skin before it is piped in. Instances 
> are recorded of top table guests being scalded 
> by flying pieces of haggis when enthusiastic 
> reciters omitted this precaution!
> 
> This advisory is culled from the BBC's 'running order' for a Burns Night 
> supper, to be found at 
> 
> http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/robertburns/burns_night_running_order.shtml
> 
> This complete guide to a very entertaining evening includes links to recipes 
> - unfortunately these at first attempt led to error messages, but I 
> persevered and found the recipes by entering their names individually at
> 
> http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/
> 
> The clootie pudding looks extremely tasty:
> 
> http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/clootiepudding_9528
> 
> I know it from childhood, served not with clotted cream, but a 'hard sauce' 
> (1/2 cup butter, 1 & 1/2 cups confectioner's sugar, 1 tsp vanilla extract - 
> the problems I am currently having with my teeth have a long history!). The 
> accompanying dram of whiskey recommended in the recipe linked above is an 
> adult 'add-on'.
> 
> My own feasting will be of a purely literary nature (thus saving me from list 
> members chiding me for perverting a list devoted to the discussion of 
> philosophy and literature by indulging in recipe-sharing). I will be dipping 
> into the 2-volume COMPLETE WORKS OF ROBERT BURNS ("chronologically arranged 
> with life and notes critical and biographical by Allan Cunningham; and 
> numerous notes by Lord Byron, Thomas Campbell, Thomas Carlyle, Lord Jeffery, 
> T. Landseer, Lockhart, Sir Walter Scott, Professor Wilson, and Wordsworth, 
> etc. etc. etc.") published in Glasgow by John McGready in 1870. These volumes 
> were obtained at the book 'flea-market' held by Kiel's public library some 
> years ago, for the princely sum of 15 Euros (at current exchange rates 
> US$20.50). 
> 
> I might even try a tune or two (notation for several musical airs is found in 
> volume 2).
> 
> Chris the Bruce,
> wishing to all and sundry 
> a Happy Burns Night, in
> Kiel, Germany
> 
> P.S. Speaking of fleas:
> 
> To A Louse [1786]
> 
> Ha! whare ye gaun, ye crowlin ferlie!
> Your impudence protects you sairly:
> I canna say but ye strunt rarely
> Owre gauze and lace;
> Tho' faith, I fear ye dine but sparely
> On sic a place.
> 
> Ye ugly, creepin, blastit wonner,
> Detested, shunned by saunt an' sinner,
> How daur ye set your fit upon her,
> Sae fine a lady!
> Gae somewhere else and seek your dinner,
> On some poor body.
> 
> Swith, in some beggar's haffet squattle;
> There ye may creep, and sprawl, and sprattle
> Wi' ither kindred, jumpin cattle,
> In shoals and nations;
> Whare horn or bane ne'er daur unsettle
> Your thick plantations.
> 
> Now haud ye there, ye're out o' sight,
> Below the fatt'rels, snug an' tight;
> Na faith ye yet! ye'll no be right
> Till ye've got on it,
> The vera tapmost, towering height
> O' Miss's bonnet.
> 
> My sooth! right bauld ye set your nose out,
> As plump an' grey as onie grozet:
> O for some rank, mercurial rozet,
> Or fell, red smeddum,
> I'd gie ye sic a hearty dose o't,
> Wad dress your droddum!
> 
> I wad na been surprised to spy
> You on an auld wife's flainen toy;
> Or aiblins some bit duddie boy,
> On's wyliecoat;
> But Miss's fine Lunardi! -fie!
> How daur ye do't?
> 
> O Jenny, dinna toss your head,
> An' set your beauties a' abread!
> Ye little ken what cursed speed
> The blastie's makin!
> Thae winks and finger-ends, I dread,
> Are notice takin!
> 
> O, wad some Power the giftie gie us
> To see oursels as ithers see us!
> It wad frae monie a blunder free us
> An' foolish notion:
> What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
> And ev'n Devotion!
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