[lanse] words for 2003

  • From: Jason Halls <jason.halls@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "'list@xxxxxxxxxxx'" <list@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 17:09:28 +0100

  

NEW WORDS FOR 2003 -- Essential additions for the workplace vocabulary:

 

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was
missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

 

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on
everything, and then leaves.

 

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and
advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

 

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending entire day swimming upstream only to
get screwed and die in the end.

 

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

 

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube
farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

 

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

 

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn
into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with
the kids.

 

STARTER MARRIAGE: A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no
kids, no property and no regrets.

 

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

 

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the
magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

 

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

 

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you
find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime
example. Bill Clinton's Grand Jury testimony is another.

 

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the XXXX (crap) out of an
electronic device to get it to work again.

 

VULCAN NERVE PINCH: The taxing hand position required to reach all the
appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, for Windows it's Ctrl,
Alt, Delete simultaneously.

 

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the
rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to
solve.

 

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 -
Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

 

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've
just made a BIG mistake

 

Regards

 


  _____  


Jason Halls - Systems Administrator

 


d +44 (0) 1628 532565  
a Strategix | Regatta Place | Marlow Road | Bourne End | SL8 5TD | UK
e  <mailto:jason.halls@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> jason.halls
<mailto:jason.halls@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> @strategixsoftware.com 
w  <http://www.strategixsoftware.com/> www.strategixsoftware.com


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