[Hanafi] The Etiquette of Visiting
- From: "I Khan" <no1khan@xxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <imran_dist@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 30 Mar 2004 12:09:44 +0100
Assalamu alay kum wr wb,
For all of us, Social Characters I thought you would find this collection of
fiqh and general advice interesting to read and follow: :-)
Imran
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The Etiquette of Visiting
====================
Translated from "Aadabe Mulaaqaat"
Courtesy: Madrasah Arabia Islamia - Azaadville, South Africa
The Holy Qur'an commands: "When you enter homes, observe Salaam with one
another - a Salaam of blessing and purity from Allah." (Surah Nur verse 61)
Etiquette:
1. Don't enter anyone's house or room without permission. You are
obligated to seek their permission first.
2. The Islamic code of seeking permission specifies that one should
stand close to the door, (knock) and thereafter say "Assalaamualaikum wa
Rahmatullahi", may I come in?
3. If this does not elicit a reply, employ the same method of Salaam
etc. a second and third time. After the third time, if you fail to get a
reply, consider it an inopportune moment for meeting. There could be some
valid excuse. Therefore, return and do not ever feel offended.
4. Whilst seeking permission to enter, stand on one side. Don't stand
in such a way that you can see inside. However, if the host is right in
front of you, make Salaam and seek permission to enter.
5. It is despicable to peep inside. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi
Wasallam vehemently forbade this.
6. Observe Salaam loudly even when entering your own house and make
your presence known to the occupants of the house.
7. If you are asked: "Who is there?", give your name. Do not say: "It's
me!" because the occupant does not know who is "me."
8. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam advised a Sahaabi thus: "Come
and meet me every alternate day (and not daily) as this would increase our
love for one another."
9. Avoid visiting someone during meal or snack times. If you are
compelled to visit at such times, first eat and then go. However, if you are
unable to eat and go, then do not lie to the host that you have already
eaten. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam said: "Do not bring lies and
hunger together." However, you may decline on some other pretext.
10. If you have to visit someone in another city or town, inform him before
hand.
11. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam strictly forbade reaching
someone?s home at night. In fact, he even forbade the people from returning
to their own homes at night without informing their families.
12. When you enter someone?s home, enter with Salaam. The occupant of the
house should make the first move when it comes to shaking hands or
embracing. If he does not make the first move or he is busy, do not disturb
him.
13. Do not observe Salaam when you enter a gathering in which a lecture or
lesson is taking place, nor should you make Salaam when entering a Masjid in
which people are engaged in Salaah or other forms of Zikr. However, if
someone draws your attention, you should make Salaam silently.
14. When you enter someone?s house, do not sit at the best spot nor sit on
a place especially reserved for the owner of the house. It is upto him if he
wishes to seat you on his place or on any other appropriate place.
15. The Qur'an orders both men and women to lower their gazes. Be very
particular about this at all times. When you go to someone?s house, do not
look around.
16. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam advised us to be soft-natured and
dignified. Always keep this advice in mind. If you go anywhere, speak gently
and act in a dignified manner. Do not touch anything without permission. Do
not stare at anything covetously nor act as though you are impressed and
awe-struck with the host?s pomp and splendour, resulting in you suffering
from an inferiority complex.
17. Do not sit nor converse for very long. Once your work is complete, seek
permission to leave immediately. However, on the insistence of the host, you
may remain until it is convenient for you.
When Others Come to your Place
"And when you are greeted with any greeting, offer a greeting more courteous
than that or (at least) return the greeting. Verily, Allah Ta'ala takes
careful account of everything." (Surah Nisaa Verse 86)
When anyone comes to your house, you are Islamically obligated to give him a
warm reception. Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam is reported to have
said: "A mu'min is he who honours his guest and is hospitable towards him."
Etiquette:
1. It is Wajib (compulsory) to answer to the Salaam. The Qur'an urges
you to ensure that your reply is more superior, cultured and more vigorous
than the Salaam of the other person. For example, if you are greeted with
"Assalamualaikum" add on "warahmatullah" after "waalaykumussalaam" when
replying.
2. The following words may be added to the Salaam or to the reply:
"warahmatullahi", "wa-barakaatuh" "wa-maghfiratuh." Rasulullah Sallallahu
Alayhi Wasallam had promised ten additional rewards for every word added to
the Salaam.
3. Be cheerful when welcoming your guest. Stand up and welcome him.
Shake hands with him and if you are meeting him after some time. Embrace
each other as well. Thereafter, seat him with respect.
4. The impoliteness of those who are impolite towards you is obviously
incorrect but when they come to your door, ethics demand that you confront
them courteously. Do not act peevishly. Meet them with a cheerful
countenance. Converse in a cultured and dignified manner.
5. The Arabs have a charming custom of welcoming their guests with the
following phrase: Ahlan wa Sahlan wa Marhaba, which figuratively means:
"Make yourself at home. Everything you require is found and you are
welcome."
6. Employ your discretion in welcoming your guests. Determine their
needs according to prevailing weather conditions etc. Endeavour to fulfil
their needs before they even request you to do so.
7. Ascertain the habits of the guest in regards to his food, snacks,
bathing etc. Make preparations for him according to his habit and
disposition. This will comfort him whilst eliciting great rewards for you as
well (Insha Allah).
8. Upon his departure, walk a little distance with the guest and bid
him farewell. Allow him to take leave from you instead of you bidding him
farewell first.
9. If you have some conveyance, offer it to the guest.
10. Whenever anyone took leave of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam, he
would clasp the former?s hand with his own - out of love and affection - and
he would continue holding the other person?s hands until the person himself
drew his hands away. When bidding anyone farewell, he used to recite:
"Astaudi'ullaha Dînak Amânatak wa khawâtîma 'amalik."
Courtesy: Madrasah Arabia Islamia - Azaadville, South Africa
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