[guide.chat] motherly lessons
- From: "Si Watson" <mrsvilla@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 9 Jun 2011 17:44:48 +0100
My Mother taught me about...
LOGIC
(1) If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go
to the store with me. (2) Because I said so, that's why.
MEDICINE
If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze
that way.
THINKING AHEAD
If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!
ESP
Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?
MEETING CHALLENGES
What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to youDon't talk
back to me!
HUMOR
When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.
BECOMING AN ADULT
If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
GENETICS
You're just like your father!
MY ROOTS
Do you think you were born in a barn?
THE WISDOM of AGE
When you get to be my age, you will understand.
ANTICIPATION
Just wait until your father gets home.
RECEIVING
You are going to get it when we get home.
JUSTICE
One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU,
then you'll see what it's like.
APPRECIATING A JOB WELL DONE
If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just
finished cleaning!
RELIGION
You better pray that will come out of the carpet.
TIME TRAVEL
If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!
FORESIGHT
Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.
IRONY
Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about.
THE SCIENCE of OSMOSIS
Shut your mouth and eat your supper!
CONTORTIONISM
Will you just look at the dirt on the back of your neck!
WEATHER
It looks as if a tornado swept through your room.
HYPOCRISY
If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!
THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.
ENVY
There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't have wonderful parents like you do!
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