[guide.chat] In Reply To: [guide.chat] Fw: Church Ladies with Typewritters

From: "Elizabeth Kay" <ebeth.kay@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "James Liddell" <james.liddell2@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, "Guide Chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2012 10:37:21 +0100
Thanks James I don't seem to find much to laugh at these days but these 
bulletins made me smile. Some further thoughts about thr old days later on when 
I have done my chores. Seens like we older ones shred a lot of experiences.

-----Original Message-----
From: James Liddell - Email Address: james.liddell2@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 12/09/2012 22:43
Sent To: Guide Chat - Email Address: guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [guide.chat] Fw: Church Ladies with Typewritters

Subject: Fw: Church Ladies with Typewritters

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>
>They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies 
>with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) apparently appeared 
>in church bulletins or were announced in church services:   
>--------------------------
>The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
>-------------------------- 
>The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 
>'Searching for Jesus.' 
>-------------------------- 
>Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those 
>things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. 
>-------------------------- 
>Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone 
>who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you. 
>-------------------------- 
>Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. 
>-------------------------- 
>Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious 
>pleasure to the congregation.
>-------------------------- 
>For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery 
>downstairs.
>-------------------------- 
>Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they 
>can get.
>-------------------------- 
>Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So 
>ends a friendship that began in their school days. 
>-------------------------- 
>A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will 
>follow..
>-------------------------- 
>At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come 
>early and listen to our choir practice. 
>-------------------------- 
>Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new 
>members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 
>-------------------------- 
>Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. 
>Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 
>-------------------------- 
>Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you 
>want remembered.. 
>-------------------------- 
>The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and 
>gracious hostility. 
>-------------------------- 
>Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. 
>-------------------------- 
>The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be 
>seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. 
>-------------------------- 
>This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the 
>Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. 
>-------------------------- 
>Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM . All ladies are 
>invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done. 
>-------------------------- 
>The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend 
>him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
>-------------------------- 
>Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the back 
>door. 
>-------------------------- 
>The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church 
>basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. 
>-------------------------- 
>Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use 
>large double door at the side entrance. 
>-------------------------- 
>The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 
>'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
>--------------------------
> 
>
[guide.chat] In Reply To: [guide.chat] Fw: Church Ladies with Typewritters

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