[guide.chat] In Reply To: [guide.chat] Forwarded Email: [guide.chat] FW: Do you fart in bed?

From: "Keith Wines" <keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 2009 18:03:32 +0100
Hi to Hazel and Kim 
So glad you liked it ,so did I ,even after reading it several times like when I 
was wiping off all the addresses of the top and bottom of the email ,it took me 
nearly fifteen minutes to go through all of the addresses ,because sighted 
people just skim over them and poor old guide has to read them all ,and that is 
why I spend time wiping it all off ,if anyone would like to know how to do this 
I would be happy to tell them how to do this ,just send me an email asking me 
how ,ok 

Best Wishes from me 

Keith 


-----Original Message-----
From: Hazel & Kim Darvell - Email Address: darvell206@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 28/07/2009 13:39
Sent To: guide chat - Email Address: guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [guide.chat] Forwarded Email: [guide.chat] FW: Do you fart in bed?

What a corker that was , the best ever.

-----Original Message-----
From: Keith Wines - Email Address: keith.wines@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 28/07/2009 11:48
Sent To: guide chat - Email Address: guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [guide.chat] FW: Do you fart in bed?

      Hi all you will need your disposable panties or sick bag ready after 
reading this one ,ok .

      
Do you 
      fart in bed?
IF THIS STORY DOESN'T MAKE YOU CRY FOR LAUGHING SO HARD, 
      LET ME KNOW AND
I'LL PRAY FOR YOU.

THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A 
      COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS?
THE ONLY FRICTION IN 
      THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING
LOUDLY EVERY MORNING 
      WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND THE
SMELL WOULD MAKE 
      HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR.

EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD 
      PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE IT
WAS MAKING HER 
      SICK.
HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS PERFECTLY 
      NATURAL.

SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT ONE 
      DAY HE WOULD BLOW
HIS GUTS OUT.
THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE 
      CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE CHRISTMAS DAY
MORNING, AS SHE WAS 
      PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE WAS 
      UPSTAIRS
S OUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT 
      THE INNARDS, NECK, GIZZARD, LIVER AND ALL THE
SPARE PARTS, AND A 
      MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER.

SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS 
      WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP AND,
GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS 
      BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC WAISTBAND OF
HIS UNDERPANTS AND 
      EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS 
      SHORTS.

SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL 
      TRUMPETING WHICH
WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND 
      OF FRANTIC FOOT STEPS
AS HE RAN INTO THE BATH ROOM.

THE WIFE 
      COULD HARDLY CONTROL HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING,
TEARS 
      IN HER EYES! AFTER YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM 
      BACK
PRETTY GOOD.

ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME 
      DOWNSTAIRS IN HIS BLOODSTAINED
UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS 
      FACE.

SHE BIT HER LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER. HE 
      SAID, 'HONEY YOU
WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND I 
      DIDN'T LISTEN TO
YOU'.

'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?' ASKED HIS 
      WIFE.

'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING 
      MY GUTS OUT,
AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.

'BUT BY THE GRACE OF 
      GOD, WITH SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT
MOST OF THEM 
      BACK 
IN
 
 
  Hi all you can get up off the floor now ,I hope you enjoyed this one ,it came 
from my carer ,she has a terrific sense of humour ,don't you think so .  Keith
[guide.chat] In Reply To: [guide.chat] Forwarded Email: [guide.chat] FW: Do you fart in bed?

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