[guide.chat] Horrid Henry
- From: "Harold Kitching" <harold.kitching01@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "Forum chats guade forum" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Tue, 7 Feb 2012 22:04:50 -0000
Here are the
PERFECT PETER'S
FAVOURITE
JOKES
'NO! I don't want
Peter's stupid,
smelly jokes in
my joke book.'
'Don't be horrid,
Henry!'
'I DON'T WANT
PETER'S STUPID,
BABY
JOKES IN MY
BOOK.
AND THAT'S FINAL.'
'Henry, I'm warning you . . .'
'NOOOOOOOOOO!'
'That's it, Henry. No TV for a
week.'
'Oh all right. He can put in his
stupid, yucky jokes.'
Psst. Listen, everyone, don't read
them. They're awful. Skip ahead
to the next section.
What's green and rides a horse?,,,
Alexander the Grape.,,,
I thought I said, don't read
Peter's dumb jokes!,,,
What do you call a sheep on a trampoline?,,,
A woolly jumper.,,,
What happens if you fall asleep under
a car?,,,
You wake up oily in the morning.,,,
Told you they were awful! now
stop reading!,,,
Why couldn't the sailor play cards?,,,
The captain was standing on the deck.,,,
How do chickens dance?,,,
Chick to chick,,,
Groan.,,,
Why did the man with one hand cross
the road?,,,
To get to the second hand shop.,,,
Why did the germ cross the microscope?,,,
To get to the other side.,,,
What do you get if you dial 666?,,,
The austrlian police.,,,
How do you use an Egyptian doorbell?,,,
Just toot-and-come-in.,,,
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?,,,
A carrot.,,,
What do you get if you pour hot water
down a rabbit hole?,,,
Hot cross bunnies.,,,
You still here? Then it's your
own fault if you have to read
dumb bunny jokes.,,,
What do you call a blind reindeer?,,,
No eye deer.,,,
Why did the elephant cross the road?,,,
The chicken was on holiday.,,,
'Peter! That's my joke. I already
told it.'
'It's my joke! You stole it.'
'Didn't.'
'Did.'
'MUMMMMMMMM!',,,
Why did the bubblegum cross the road?,,,
It was stuck to the chicken's foot.,,,
What do you call a man who's been buried in
a bog for 4000 years?,,,
Pete.,,,
What do you call a priest on a motorbike?,,,
Rev.,,,
Where do frogs hang their coats?,,,
In a croakroom.,,,
Peter! That's the worst joke
i've ever heard. Cross it out
this minute.,,,
What did the policeman say to his belly?,,,
'You're under a vest'.,,,
What's seven feet tall, green,
and sits in the corner?,,,
The Incredible Sulk.,,,
What do you call a bear
without an ear?,,,
B.,,,
Only an ugly, smelly toad would
find that funny.,,,
What does the Spanish farmer say to his
chickens?,,,
'Oh lay!',,,
What did the martian say to the petrol pump?,,,
Take your finger out of your ear when
I'm talking to you.,,,
When is a tractor not a tractor?,,,
When it turns into a field.,,,
When I'm king, anyone who tells
any of Peter's stupid jokes will
get trampled on by elephants. I
mean it!.,,,
How do you know flowers are lazy?,,,
You always find them in beds.,,,
What happens when you drop a green rock
in the Red Sea?,,,
It gets wet.,,,,,
Aaarrrgghhh.,,,
Which pet makes the most noise?,,,
A trum-pet.,,,
They're fished. Phew. That was
horrible. I'm going to glue those
pages together so no will
ever have to suffer again.
You will
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