[guide.chat] :Fwd: Grieving person's bill of rights.

  • From: Keith Wines <muckyduck2@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "guide chat" <guide.chat@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Fri, 11 Nov 2011 23:30:57 -0000

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From: mrsvilla@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sent On: 08/11/2011 12:10
Sent To: muckyduck2@xxxxxxxxx
:Fwd: Grieving person's bill of rights.

    Grieving persons bill of rights

  1)    You have the right to experience your own unique grief.  No one else 
will grieve in exactly the same way you do.  When you 
turn to others for help, don't allow them to tell you what you should or should 
not be feeling.

2)    YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR GRIEF.  Talking about your grief 
will help you heal.
seek out others who will allow you to talk as much as you want, as often as you 
want, about your grief.

3)    YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL A MULTITUDE OF EMOTIONS.  Confusion, 
disorientation, fear, guilt and relief are just a few of the 
emotions you might feel as part of your grief journey.  Others may try to tell  
you that feeling angry, for example, is wrong. Don't 
take these judgemental responses to heart.  Instead, find listeners who will 
accept your feelings without condition.

4)    YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE TOLERANT OF YOUR PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL LIMITS.  
Your feelings of loss and sadness will probably 
leave you feeling fatigued.  Respect what your body and mind are telling you.  
Get daily rest.  Eat balanced meals.  And don't allow 
others to push you into doing things yu don't feel ready to do.

5)    YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXPERIENCE GRIEF "ATTACKS" .   Sometimes, out of 
nowhere, a powerful surge of grief may overcome you. 
This can be frightening, but it is normal and natural.  Find someone who 
understands and will let you talk it out.

6)YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO MAKE USE OF RITUAL.  The funeral ritual does more than 
acknowledge the death of someone loved.  It helps 
provide you with the support of caring people.  More important, the funeral is 
a way for you to mourn.  If others tell you that 
rituals such a these are silly or unnecessary, don't listen.

7)    YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO EMBRACE YOUR SPIRITUALITY.  If  faith is a part of 
your life, express it in ways appropriate to you. 
Allow yourself to be around people who understand and support your religious 
beliefs. If you feel angry with God, find someone to 
talk with who won't be critical of your feelings of hurt and abandonment.

8)    YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SEARCH FOR MEANING.  You may find yourself asking, 
"Why did he or she die? Why this way? Why now? Some 
of your questions may have answers, but some may not.  And watch out for the 
cliched responses some people may give you.  Comments 
like, " It was God's will" or "Think of what you have to be thankful for,"  are 
not helpful and you do not have to accept them.

9)    YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO TREASURE YOUR MEMORIES.  Memories are one of the 
best legacies that exist after the death of someone 
loved.  You will always remember.  Instead of ignoring your memories, find 
others with whom you can share them.

10)    YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO MOVE TOWARD YOUR GRIEF AND HEAL. Reconciling your 
grief will not happen quickly.  Remember that grief 
is a process, not an event.  Be patient and tolerant with yourself and avoid 
people who are impatient and intolerant with you. 
Neither you nor those around you must forget that the death of someone loved 
changes your life forever..

1)  You have the right to experience your own unique grief.
2)  You have the right to talk about your grief.
3)  You have the right to feel a multitude of emotions.
4)  You have the right to be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits.
5)  You have the right to experience grief "attacks."
6)  You have the right to make use of ritual.
7)  You have the right to embrace your spirituality.
8)  You have the right to search for meaning.
9)  You have the right to treasure your memories.
10)  You have the right to move toward your grief and heal.
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