[ghrrbac-vtaa] Virginia Tech: What Makes Me a Hokie/ Sentiments on the Healing Process
- From: "Dudley, Gregory" <Gregory.Dudley@xxxxxxx>
- To: <mrdudley06@xxxxxxx>, "Dudley, Gregory" <Gregory.Dudley@xxxxxxx>
- Date: Fri, 20 Apr 2007 13:05:56 -0400
Good Afternoon Friends, Family, Fellow VT Alumni, and Associates,
The following message is a long one, but I hope you will read it in its
entirety. FYI, I did type the original message on my own time at home
earlier this morning.
I would like to express sincere gratitude to all those who reached out
this week to express their concern over the events at Virginia Tech. I
would also like to thank those who have expressed concern to other VT
students and alumni during the course of this week.
Since news of the tragedy on the campus of Virginia Tech began to
trickle out to the public on Monday morning, there have been a number of
feelings swelling up within my chest. I am not typically a talkative
person (except with those who know me well), but I am known to speak up
when something needs to be said. Like myself, I am sure many of you may
have felt stunned, confused, maybe even angry at some point this
week...there are so many questions, and such a sense of wanting to be
able to help, and yet feeling helpless just the same. In essence, many
of us have been trying to make sense of it all while at the same time
expressing concern for those who have been directly impacted. All of
these feelings have caused me to consider what it is that I picked up
between the first day I walked in the doors of Virginia Tech and the day
I walked out of the doors...What is it that I did not have (or was not
in tune with) when I had first arrived on the doorsteps years before?
Something happened in that brief time that sticks with me ten years
later...And, I would like to take a few moments to share these thoughts
with you. I guess I could sum it up by referring to this brief essay
as...
"What makes me a Hokie?" or "What did I learn at Virginia Tech?"
Virginia Tech is a place where I learned so much about life and learned
so much to equip me for life. It is where I formed some of the best
friendships that I have ever had to this day. I enjoyed times laughing
with friends in the dining halls...Remember stromboli night? I
struggled to stay awake with can after can of Jolt cola as I studied for
5-hour Calculus, or prepared for that exam in Statics, Dynamics,
Thermodynamics, Fluid Mechanics, and the list goes on. I played games
on the quad. I walked across the drill field on cold mornings to go to
some 8 o'clock class. I waited in line at Burruss Hall trying to get my
financial-aid straightened out. I worked for Residential and Dining
Programs in the summers, opening doors for Future Farmers of America
that could not seem to hold onto their dorm room keys. I caught rides
home to Newport News for the weekend from anybody with a car who was
originally from anywhere between Williamsburg to Virginia Beach. I
learned where Martinsville and Danville were on the map, and actually
met people from those towns.
I learned to wash my own clothes at Virginia Tech. I walked with
friends out to that parking lot on the far end of campus just so someone
could retrieve their car for the weekend. I gazed at the stars above in
a crystal clear evening sky at Virginia Tech. I slept in a loft. I sat
for 3 hours installing 10 floppy disks worth of Microsoft Windows on my
computer, and turned right around to do the same thing for MS Word. I
helped Business Majors setup their computers. I stayed up in the
computer lab trying to get MATLAB to import my data. I got parking
tickets because I couldn't make it to the bank in Squires and back
outside fast enough. I sat along the wall at the War Memorial over the
chapel, looked over the drill field, and thought about my life. I sat
in a Chemistry class of 500 people in McBryde Hall. I sat as 1 of 3
African-American students in a Calculus class with over 70 students. I
smelled something funny when I walked past Pritchard Hall. I lived in
Miles Hall and in O'Shag. I visited friends in East and West AJ. I
bought posters and a rug in front of the bookstore on move-in day. I
moved my stuff in first so I could get the top bunk and the desk near
the window. I got lost in the first week because all of the buildings
looked the same.
I sat in the window at Newman Hall and looked out over the Hokie Grill.
I ran from RA's in Johnson Hall. I added my $2.00 with everyone else's
to buy an Extra Large Pizza and get a chance to eat 2 slices. I caught
rides to "the real mall" in Roanoke 40 minutes away. I road the BT
(Blacksburg Transit...the bus) to North Main Street. I knew which books
to buy from the University Bookstore and which books to buy from Tech
Bookstore. I paid money for concerts and waited with everyone else
because the artist got lost trying to find Blacksburg. I went to movie
night at Squires in the summer because there was nothing else to do. I
sat on crates and watched 13-inch televisions. I filled up 8 little
glasses of juice in the dining hall because VT didn't seem to know what
a tall glass was. I took plates and silverware from the dining hall
back to my room and kept a clean set by the sink like it was real
dinnerware...and at the end of the semester, I returned it to the dining
hall. I learned that Burnt Orange and Maroon actually DO match! I went
to football games and did the Hokie Pokie whether I thought it was corny
or not!
Learning to Deal with Life's Challenges
But, even with all of the great things about Virginia Tech, I also
learned to deal with some of the hard realities of life there. I
learned about pressing on in the face of adversity. I learned that life
isn't fair. I learned about accountability. I learned that not
everyone who shared the same freshman year will graduate with you. I
learned that inherent in the term "Hokie" is also the underlying theme
"Never give up because Hokies are not quitters." I learned that Failure
is not an option.
Virginia Tech was also where I learned about dealing with tragedy. My
first roommate and eventually my best friend, Diron Parks, majored in
Business Management and Information Systems...so, as I sat up at night
running FORTRAN, he was up running PASCAL programs. We weren't
roommates the entire time (about 2.5 years), but we were best friends
just the same. He graduated in the Spring of 2006 and would come back
from time to time to visit me as I finished up my last few credits that
Summer and Fall. His last visit was Homecoming 2006 (in October) and we
talked and emailed frequently...he was the reason I started using email
on a regular basis. In November of 2006, his sister called to tell me
that Diron had passed away the night before due to heart failure
resulting from a severe asthma attack. And, I graduated a month later
in December 2006.
I felt a tremendous sense of loss, I felt sad, confused, and sometimes
angry. Graduation Day had a certain emptiness to it for me because the
person who could understand what it meant to me the most was not there
to see me walk across the stage. It took time for me to deal with that
loss. But, in that time, I grew closer to Diron's family, I grew closer
to other VT alumni who reached out to comfort and encourage me. And,
over time I learned some things about myself. There are things that I
have done to honor his memory since then. And, I just stopped by his
Mother's house last month to see how she is doing.
Your Part in the Healing Process
So, as you...as WE struggle to make sense out of recent tragedies at
Virginia Tech, I wanted to reach out and let you know that there is
recovery from tragedy. There are questions that will never be answered.
I recall thinking of how many "inside jokes" that I shared with Diron
and how I would be the only one left to "get the joke." I thought of
how there are so many questions and how I would now have to wait a
lifetime to learn the answers. I encourage you as you consider your
role in the healing process to think of how you can honor the memories
of those who were lost. I do not mean simply by attending a service, or
taking a moment of silence. I mean what will you actively do...what
project will you take on...what scholarship will you support...who will
you be a little kinder to...who will you be patient with...all of this
in recognition of the fact that life is a fragile thing. God has
granted us this gift and a little bit of time. How will you make use of
both?...How will this use be a testament to those who no longer have the
benefit of either?
This tragedy has touched close friends and fellow alumni within my own
personal circle who are are related to one of the victims. And, on a
larger scale it has impacted us all, even if only emotionally. We
cannot go back in time and change these events. However, we can take an
active role in determining the way in which we will move forward.
Our human minds cannot comprehend the magnitude, the depth, the
complexity, and the continuity that exists within God's grand plan.
God Bless You All,
Gregory C. Dudley
Virginia Tech
B.S. Mechanical Engineering, December 1996
mrdudley06@xxxxxxx
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