[GeoStL] Re: NCR--Andy Rooney Telemarketing Tips

  • From: Mike Lusicic <lusicic@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: geocaching@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Tue, 13 May 2008 09:21:56 -0500

- I read this and commented below before I checked it at Snopes. They confirmed my suspicions at least to the effectiveness of these steps. Check it out at http://tinyurl.com/b643d

The only thing it invalidated was my comments about Andy Rooney. But it does sound like the kind of thing that could be a good sarcastic joke like he does make, not meant to be taken seriously.

Bernie wrote:
Subj: Fw: Andy Rooney Telemarketing Tips

  ----- Original      Tips for Handling Telemarketers Three 
Little Words That Work!!

(1) The three little words are: 'Hold On, Please...' Saying this, 
while putting down your phone and walking off (instead of 
hanging-up immediately) would make each telemarketing call so 
much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a 
halt.  Then when you eventually hear the phone company's 
'beep-beep-beep' tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up 
your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.
    
The people making the calls are trying to make a living. They get almost nothing compared to the people who hire them. This is like shooting the messenger. It would be like giving your garbage man a hard time when he comes into the neighborhood because you don't like what the company he works for charges for their service. They cannot do anything about it. If they didn't need the money, they wouldn't be doing it, so why torture them?
These three little words will help eliminate telephone 
soliciting.   (2)  Do you ever get those annoying phone calls 
with no one on the other end?  This is a telemarketing technique 
where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day 
when a person answers the phone.  This technique is used to 
determine the best time of day for a 'real' sales person to call 
back and get someone at home.  What you can do after answering, 
if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start 
hitting your # button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as  
possible.  This confuses the machine that dialed the call and it 
kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to 
have your name in their system any longer!
Not quite accurate. What is happening here is that for every agent they have who becomes free for a call, several calls are made. The first one that is answered is connected to the agent. The others are ignored or given to another agent. This is because there are many "no answers", and they don't want to waste the telemarketers time by having them wait for the phone to ring 5 times before hanging up. The best time thing would still have the telemarketer waiting for the phone to ring finish ringing to see if you are home during the "best" time. But the best time for me is different depending on the day. This explanation makes no sense to me.
  (3)   Junk Mail Help: 
  When you get 'ads' enclosed with your phone or utility bill, 
return these 'ads' with your payment. Let the sending companies 
throw their own junk mail away. When you get those 'pre-approved' 
letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd 
mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return 
envelope. Most of these come with postage-paid return envelopes, 
right? It costs them more than the regular 51 cents postage 'IF' 
and when they receive them back.  It costs them nothing if you 
throw them away!  The postage was around 50 cents before the last 
increase and it is according to the weight. In that case, why not 
get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool 
little, postage-paid return envelopes.  One of Andy Rooney's (60 
minutes) ideas. Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to 
American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn't 
get anything else that day, then just send them their blank 
application back!  If you want to remain anonymous, just make 
sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just to 
keep them guessing! It still costs them 51 cents.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot 
of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to 
OVERWHELM them. Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of 
junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it...twice!
    
Andy is in the entertainment business. If this is an example of his rational thinking, it shows he doesn't know a lot about the real world. It doesn't "cost" the company anything. If the price to operate goes up because of these antics, they just raise the price of their service to maintain their profit margin and guess who winds up paying that 51 cents? You do. Since they all follow the same practices, they will all be equally advantaged or handicapped, so they will all just raise their prices. The only way to affect the outcome is if there was a way to differentiate between the competition and make it a disadvantage to send out the extra stuff. But the reality is some people actually like those things and they make sales. So even if you cost them 51 cents, but they make $10 on someone else, do you really think they are going to quit because of that?
  


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