<FWG> Re: (Section 31) "Paranoia"
- From: Jason Ziredac <ziredac@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: fwgalaxy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Thu, 14 Dec 2006 16:52:41 -0800 (PST)
Holy bastard.
GREAT log.
Brad Ruder <kylepiercecpa@xxxxxxxxx> wrote: From Section 31...
"Paranoia"
by Anonymous
"You keep thinking there has to be something."
"A file here, or a discrepancy there, but you come up short."
"Are they not what they seem or are you just grasping at straws?"
"Too much time in the thick of things, Lindway, it?s messing you up."
"Is it too good to be true - a sudden over-abundance of resources?"
"Why can?t you just accept it for what it is?"
"Paranoia, that?s why."
"Another group of files, another dead end."
"Is it because they look at you differently?"
"You?re not as fast as the new ones, but you?re ever-persistent to prove
your worth."
"Is grasping at straws and crying wolf the way to go about that?"
"You know what you?re doing is not within your jurisdiction, so why do it?"
"Paranoia, that?s why."
"What if it?s a giant conspiracy? Everyone is now working against the
Federation."
"Every new recruit, every political aide, everyone; they?re out to bring down
freedom."
"The Federation was built on more than that, those demons don?t lurk here,
you know that"
"What if that security was breached? What if... what if...?"
"If it were true, you couldn?t trust anyone. Not even your own father, were
he still alive."
"Second-guessing yourself? Stay strong, the truth will come out."
"But is it the truth you think it is? Will you be happy with the outcome if
you?re wrong?"
"Why would you even put yourself in that position in the first place?"
"It?s that light at the end of the tunnel that you?re right, isn?t it?"
"Glorious clarification that after all these years, you still have it?"
"Do you, though?"
"Why would you think you don?t have it? Why would you think you?ve lost your
edge?"
"Paranoia, that?s why."
"If you come up short it?ll be worse than if you hadn?t done or said anything
at all."
"Such an illustrious career to be tainted by such wild accusations."
"Time to retire?"
"Look at your hands, they?re shaking... almost uncontrollably."
"You know the medication is wearing off, and you are ready for another dose."
"Is it the fear of illness that drives you?"
"Focusing on something else helps, doesn?t it?"
"Are you focusing on the right thing? That?s the real question, isn?t it?"
"It?s getting worse, and you know there will come a day when they put you
behind a desk."
"Behind a desk as ?security advisor? to a virtually crime-free society."
"There you will spend the rest of your day in isolation, hating those that
put you there."
"And why is it that you are there? Your lack of duty? Your lack of clarity?"
"Paranoia, that?s why."
"This job is going nowhere."
"This job has no more meaning to you; it?s a means to an end."
"This job is over."
"This life is over. You have nothing left to prove, nothing left to show,
nothing left to give."
"But why do you fight still?"
"Paranoia, that?s why."
"It?s right there, use it."
"It was just cleaned, wasn?t it? It?s ready for use."
"But what if it doesn?t go off?"
"What if it does?"
"What if in your standard duties you missed something, and it doesn?t perform
adequately?"
"Second-guessing the job you?ve done for so many years... what has happened
to you."
"Look at it this way: if it doesn?t work, no one will be any the wiser."
"Where would you go from there? Other than the downward spiral you?re
already in?"
"Asking all these questions has gotten you nowhere?"
"That?s right, you?ve already looked at those files."
"Yes, you?ve cross-referenced them with political documents as well... still
nothing."
"Use it."
"Pick it up."
"You?ve paid your dues to the Federation and their noble cause."
"You?ve lost it all in the name of their glorious definition of peace and
harmony."
"And, what have you gotten?"
"Baby-sitting diplomats and a bunch of new people fresh from the Academy?"
"You?ve lost your family and loved ones to this job."
"And it was all for them, all because they asked it of you."
"Yet, you?re still jumping at a shadow created by a flickering candle."
"And, it was them that did this to you."
"It was them that trained you to react this way, to flinch and to stand ready
to fight."
"And why..."
"Paranoia, that?s why."
"It?s time."
"They won?t miss you, you know that."
"Someone younger and less experienced will fill the role."
"Not to your ability, you?re sure, but they?ll learn. They always do."
"Come on. You?re tired."
"Exhausted, even."
"Sleep sounds good, but you know the problems will be there in the morning."
"Unless..."
"Yes, it would be a peaceful end to a turbulent life."
"Finally, rest that never ends."
"No more work, no more stress, no more orders."
"Use it."
"One instant and then it?s done."
"It?s over."
"You have the strength, you have the willpower."
"All that searching was done in vain."
"You can see it now: the desolate feeling of a job incomplete."
"Complete the job, complete the journey, complete the life you started."
"Go out on your terms."
"You?ve let yourself fall this far... why?"
"Paranoia, that?s why."
"Don?t be paranoid anymore. Be at peace."
Lieutenant Commander Sedge Lindway, after thirty-five years of active
service to Starfleet and the United Federation of Planets, sighed heavily and
picked up his trusty phaser. He looked at the craftsmanship, the delicate
balance the replicator took in creating it, and he buffed a smudge off the
handle. Gripping it tightly, he took a deep breath and looked at the picture
of his wife. His wife had passed so long ago, or so it felt like, and he
smiled. He?d be with her again.
A small smirk crossed his face as he held it to his head, pushing the tip
into his temple, said a silent prayer for safe journey from this life, took
another breath and pushed the button.
A high-pitched whine.
An orange glow.
An almost inaudible grunt.
And the sound of body hitting the floor.
Never again would Sedge Lindway be paranoid.
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