<FWG> <Meridian> Karma's Payment, Part 6. (Zach Auron)
- From: Jason Ziredac <ziredac@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: fwgalaxy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Fri, 23 Feb 2007 18:30:12 -0800 (PST)
Karma's Payment
by Zach Auron
Shawna Kenton
&
Jack Leirone
6.
Zach came to the front door of his old house, where there was a childish
drawing taped to the inside of the glass triangle at the top of it. It said,
?WARNING, THERE ARE TROLLS IN HERE!!!? Underneath was an illustration of one of
those trolls, and Zach knew there was nothing to be warned of. Where would a
child get an idea that something as wretched as a mythical troll would have a
smiley face and long, green hair that stood straight up from its adorable head?
He rang the chime.
And she came to the door.
?Zach,? she said, not fully opening the door. ?What are you doing here??
?I?m on shore leave, Val. I thought I?d come and have a word with you.? He
reached into his pocket and pulled out the box, holding it forward. ?I got
something for you.?
?I don?t want it. Please, Zach, please just go away.?
?Val, I??
?No, I don?t want excuses or pleas or anything. You?ve left my life and the
lives of the kids. They have someone new to take care of them with me.?
Zach?s smile faded into sadness. ?Do they call him ?Dad???
Valerie was shocked to see an absence of anger. ?Well, no. They call him
Park, but??
?Do they ever ask about me??
?Mena does?Zach, I don?t want you here. You bring trouble to this family
every time you show your face.?
?I?ve changed, Val. I?m not who I used to be. I?ve found patience and a
willingness to ease trouble, not cause it. I came here to make peace, which is
why I?m giving this to you.? The wooden box was still held up. ?Not as
something to win you back or anything. For friendship.?
?Friendship?!? Valerie laughed. ?You?re telling me you want to be friends??
?Please, can I come in??
?What if I don?t want to be friends with you??
?Will you at least hear what I have to say? Then you can decide. All I want
to do is talk.?
Valerie vacillated long, but let the door open a little more. Zach saw that
she had kept her figure, even after two?no, no, three childbirths. He was happy
for Park in that regard. While he was confident that all would end well, he was
nervous for Park to show up, for he knew that he would be greeted gruffly.
Finally, Valerie said, ?Okay,? and let him in. He asked when the girls were
coming home from school, and she said that they were on holiday with their
step-grandmother. Though he would have loved to see his kids, they had nothing
to forwardly forgive him for. Their young minds would be too wrapped up in
seeing their Daddy to worry about the adult things that were happening between
he and Mommy.
The adult things were discussed for hours, while the sun went down, while the
sprinklers came on, while the lights filled the house. First it was at the
dining room table, then the living room on couches, and then upstairs in the
children?s play area where Zach told Valerie every detail. She said not a word
since he?d begun.
Her face was that of a juror?s, listening to every word and inscribing it in
her mind. Zach?s story came to Shawna Kenton, and the way he?d saved her life,
and the way she?d saved his. Valerie asked, ?So. Is she next??
?What do you mean, ?Is she next???
?Are you going to be with her? Are you going to ruin her life next??
?Val, come on,? Zach pleaded. ?Are you that stubborn against the fact that a
man can change? To answer your question, though, no. I don?t feel that way for
Shawna. She?s like a daughter, or something. She has a lot of care in her
heart, but it?s the way a child of the universe would have it: she loves
everything like a parent, like something that can guide her, something that she
can give back to one of these days. Other than that, it?s hard to explain.?
?That?s wonderful, Zach, wonderful.? Sincerity wasn?t one of the words he
would have used to describe Valerie?s attitude.
?You don?t think a man can change??
?Not a man like you.?
?So I told you the story for nothing, then.?
Valerie stood up and walked to Zach, who was sitting on a rocking horse with
his knees poking up. ?Just because you kick a drug habit and save a girl in
surgery doesn?t mean you?re Saint Zachary. In my eyes, you have a long way to
go.?
Zach said, ?That?s just because you?re remembering the way I used to be.?
?Which was what?? He didn?t answer, confused. ?Which was what, Zach? How did
you use to be? I want to hear it.?
?I used to yell at you. I used to insult you. Then I would beg at your feet
until you?d take me back. I would walk away from you when you were criticizing
me. I would?I would grab you. Sort of violently.?
?The things you said were terrible. The things you called me. The things you
said you would do.?
?But I never did them, did I? I never hit you. I never?oh what did I say? I
never burned the house down and made you watch. I would never do that. Those
were things angry people sometimes say. You know as well as I do that a man?s
head isn?t clear when he?s angry, especially as furious as I was.?
Valerie stepped closer, leaning down, scolding him. ?It was the fear that you
would follow through, whether or not you were capable. When words leave a
mouth, whether they?re true or not, they incite thoughts in people?s heads, and
when you said you?d burn the house down and make me watch, I knew you?d never
do it. You?re too cowardly for that. But for nights and nights I used to
imagine it, helplessly, because you had just said it. Waking nightmares of you
pulling me out to the front lawn and holding my head forward as huge flames
burned our house to the ground. The entire time, you growling in my ear to keep
watching until the house was a pile of ashes. The kids crying. You used to make
our kids cry so much that it made me want to kill you.?
Pausing here, the narrative brings you to the thought pattern Zach had been
rehearsing the entire day before, of his proposal to his ex-wife. The proposal
was a monthly time with his kids, and that was it. For the meetings between he
and Valerie to be completely cordial and polite, like normal people, and then
for his shore leave to be spent taking his kids to Andrecia Fair or to the
movies, or some weekend vacation. He didn?t want regular correspondence, he
didn?t want to bother anybody. All he wanted was a little time with his kids.
Resuming, Valerie had just finished telling Zach that sometimes she wanted to
kill him. So Zach said, ?Listen, I have a proposal to make.?
?I don?t want to hear it. You might have had this grand awakening, but you?ll
always be a monster to me.?
?Valerie, listen, all I want??
?I don?t care what you want, Zach. You?re too late. You lost your chance with
me and with Mena and Kelly. Get out.?
?Just listen, I??
?Zach, for fuck?s sake, LEAVE MY HOUSE!? She swung at him, landing a compact
little knuckle sandwich on his left cheekbone, which made him tumble off the
wooden horse. Valerie wasn?t strong, so he was in no danger, but she relented
not, kicking and swinging feral fists and slaps at his arm-shielded body. All
the while, she screamed at him incoherent sobs of what a bastard he was.
He tried to plead, ?Valerie, no, stop, listen to me. The kids are all that
matter. I want to be friends with you and I want a little time with the kids. A
man can change. A man can change. A man can change.? But the hatred was raining
on him, and something terrible happened. Within him, the old Zach began to
arise. This one didn?t like the stubbornness Valerie was exerting, and was
downright furious that her mind was closed to the subject of reconciliation.
The battle of Zach?s mind had begun.
Let her keep hitting you. Get up, leave, and never come back. Forget your
children, because if they?re going to be under the rule of some mulish bitch,
then let them live their lives. You go find another life to lead as the good
man you have become.
No, punish her for not seeing through the past and recognizing the hard
changes you?ve undergone. You?ve gone through hell to become this person you
now are, and she won?t see it. Go on. Give it to her. Show her the bastard you
have always been. Just for comparison.
?You son of a bitch! Get up and get out!? Valerie stopped hitting him, and
stood over with her fists pulsing at the ends of her arms.
He looked up and saw her eyes, and that was what made his decision: her eyes
were filled with such blind, habitual hate, and it was something that broke his
heart in more ways than one. How could someone ignore the retribution one had
committed on themselves? The reformation of a human soul was falling on deaf
ears, and it was costing him time with his children, who deserved to see the
man he now was.
?I never hit you, Valerie,? he said, stammering to his feet, slowly.
?I don?t care if I?m not ?paying you back? or anything. So what if I hit you
without you hitting me first? Get the fuck out of my life. For good.?
?You didn?t let me finish.? The tone of his voice was so severe that it
stopped her breathing, and her hateful eyes flushed to sorrow and fear. ?I
never hit you, Valerie, because you?d never given me a reason. And now you
have.?
And the world bled a drop.
Zach swung hard and fierce at her, knocking her head to the side in a violent
twist, and she fell to the ground. He shot his arm down and grabbed her collar
and pulled her up, and laid another punch to her jaw, thrusting her body back
to the carpet. Valerie coughed and a little blood trickled out of the corner of
her mouth.
Hate now filled Zach to the brim, and he began to notice just exactly how
much toil this one woman had caused him. Now that the line of violence had been
crossed, he felt like taking it all the way. He repeated the action of pulling
her off the carpet and punching her right back down to it. His boot met her
stomach, twice, thrice, and then he picked her up and hurled her down the
stairs, chasing after her.
Her body slid across the tiles at the bottom of the stair, those sleek stone
tiles that cost a fortune and were a bitch to install; he smashed her head on
them, one angry smash after another, until he felt her cranium give way.
Valerie?s head was lighter, and malleable to the touch, and blood was changing
the color of Zach?s world.
Ten o?clock was the time of death. Plenty of time for Zach to wash himself of
blood and catch the late flight back to the Meridian.
All the while, he thought that it was all for nothing. His transformation
from bad to good was a farce, a joke at his pathetic life. He was now a
murderer, and was fleeing the scene with a calmness that unnerved him. Then he
wondered, could he repair this, if only in his head? Could he repair himself
and become a good person again, even if he was in jail for the rest of his
life?
The wait between hours and minutes was dwindling.
Candle lights everywhere were dying.
The world had ended for him, and there was nothing to restore the things he?d
come to know. Nobody to help him now, nothing to rescue him. His only escape
rested solely?
?with the flowers?
==
---------------------------------
Be a PS3 game guru.
Get your game face on with the latest PS3 news and previews at Yahoo! Games.
Other related posts:
- » <FWG> <Meridian> Karma's Payment, Part 6. (Zach Auron)
