My mother used to claim I would lose my head if it were not screwed on. How
I have suffered with that ancient rebuke. Dear Mother, I do not lose things.
I simply store them in mysterious places.
In May of 2015, my wife and I invited our 27-year-old son to join us on our
first trip to Paris. This vacation was especially important to me. I used to
be somewhat fluent in the language, having studied French throughout junior
high, high school and college. To my great pleasure, after landing in the
City of Lights, I discovered that I had not lost my command of the language,
and through some miracle, I had not lost anything else. My passport was
still in my pocket, the Euros were still in my wallet, and my guide dog was
still at the end of his leash.
I also managed to hang on to my iPhone. I did not lose it in the Catacombs,
or at the Eiffel Tower. I had it with me in the Louvre and in Notre Dame. I
even replied to emails in quaint cafes and I used it to capture the magical
sounds of a truly enchanting city.
And then, a few days into our Parisian adventure, we decided to take the
Paris subway from our hotel to a fancy restaurant. We walked down the
millions of steps into the tunnels and waited for the Metro train. My son
and I agreed that his Mom should get on the train first so that we could
most easily keep track of each other. It seemed like a great idea.
The train rolled in. The doors flew open. My wife stepped in. The doors
closed. Richard and I were still on the platform. The grand plan was falling
apart.
Richard and his Mom were calling out to each other through the thick subway
glass, trying to communicate with muffled voices and hand signals. I was
standing there, befuddled, knowing what my mother would think. The train
pulled away, vanishing into the darkness. I had, in a foreign country, just
lost my wife.
So what possessed me to even consider buying Apple's wireless AirPods a few
months ago? They are small, lightweight, easy to forget and always perch
precariously from a tiny shelf of ear cartilage. I have learned two great
truths about my AirPods over the last one hundred days: They are easy to
love and easy to lose.
My old wired EarPods were just fine for a long time. If I dropped an EarPod,
I could simply trail the wire like bread crumbs to rediscover the treasure.
But, Apple cut my audio umbilicus with the new iPhone 7 by removing the
dedicated headphone jack. I understand that wired EarPods are packaged with
the new iPhones, but they use the Lightning port, which is also the way I
top off my battery during the day. I decided I'd better get used to the
wireless lifestyle before I upgrade my iPhone later this year.
I took a deep breath and made the AirPods investment. Around the same time,
I also bought the BeatsX wireless offering, as well as the BT Waves much
less expensive headset. Nowadays, I almost never touch the BeatsX or BT
Waves products. The AirPods are well-engineered, delightfully intuitive and
much, much nicer. I do love them.
Still, AirPods have a weakness. Gravity. Since I work at home, I generally
only use my AirPods in the house. This helps as they are more easily found
when they take a leap. Thankfully, they don't shatter on impact. However, I
remain fearful. Even after all these months, I still forget when my AirPods
are dangling in place. On many occasions, I have lifted an arm to reach up
into a kitchen cabinet, knocking an AirPod loose, immediately sending me
into a frenzy. There is no dignity in my dropping to my knees on the tiled
floor, hoping I do not land on the precious item, then sweeping the surface
with my fingers, trying to recapture the elusive device.
My AirPods are even vulnerable when I sit in my living room comfy chair. My
guide dog is frequently involved in dislodging one or both AirPods as I
relax. Grandin has a couple of endearing traits that cause me minor grief.
At least once a day, while I am sitting, Grandin will stand on his two hind
legs and drape his front paws over my shoulders. He really likes to wipe his
nose on my shirt. I am his handkerchief. And, if those two front paws do not
successfully fling my AirPods into the abyss, his other little habit
certainly will. Grandin thinks it is important to sniff my ears, just
checking my identity to be sure that I am who I claim to be. That wet nose
of his has launched many an AirPod.
Fortunately, I can usually find the missing AirPods with just a little
crawling, but I have occasionally needed to use the AirPod "Play Sound"
option inside the "Find My iPhone" app. The audible beacon it triggers is
just loud enough for me to locate the missing item. Because I almost only
wear my AirPods indoors, I have never had to go hunting outside where the
ambient noise might drown out the emergency audio alert.
Of course, the fact that AirPods are so comfortable and easy to forget has
left me susceptible to feeling a tad foolish. Recently, I took my iPhone
upstairs to the master bathroom. I set down my phone and AirPods case and
stepped into the walk-in shower. I waited until the rest of me was clean
before I started to shampoo my hair, lathering up my silver locks. And then
I noticed my AirPods hanging from my ears. I'd been in the shower for about
a half hour and was mortified. Rather than immediately step out of the
shower with soapy hair, I carefully rinsed out the suds and toweled off. I
stepped out, put the AirPods on a dry washcloth, and felt dumb as dirt. I
patted them dry and decided to just see how permanent the damage was. I put
them back into my ears, started the Music app on my phone, and I immediately
heard Billy Joel singing, "Only the Good Die Young." Perfect! No damage at
all. Somehow they survived a hot shower and shampoo. Do not try this at
home. Your mileage may vary.
The previously water-logged pair still works like new. No impact on sound or
battery life. What a thrill! In fact, I had bought a second pair of AirPods
because I use them all day, every day. After about five hours, I hear the
warning signal in the ear piece that the current set is down to 10% of their
battery reserve. I immediately put the first pair back into their charging
case and start using the second set. Rather than wait fifteen minutes to get
a decent charge on the depleted AirPods, I simply use the extra pair so that
I have no loss in productivity. For me, the additional set of AirPods was
very much worth the cost.
I have been very lucky, and thrilled with my new wireless AirPods. The last
hundred days have been fun. I was also very lucky and thrilled in the Paris
subway. Before my wife disappeared in the train, my son and his mom
successfully communicated that she should get off at the next stop and wait
for the next train from our station. She did and we were reunited about
fifteen minutes later. My own mother would not worry too much about lost
AirPods, but I might have been given quite a lecture if I had left my wife
in Paris.
Morgan Watkins spent thirty years at the University of Texas at Austin, most
of it in information technology leadership, where he also co-authored a
popular Graduate School textbook about a standard Macintosh programming
environment, "The Educator's Guide to HyperCard and HyperTalk." He also
served on the Guide Dogs for the Blind Board of Directors and later as their
Acting President and CEO.
Morgan is now happily retired again, and playing both his old violin and his
new mandolin. Morgan has created 17 other blogs for AppleVis, including
<https://www.applevis.com/blog/accessories-apple-opinion/sounds-sofa-learnin
g-love-my-airpods> "Sounds In The Sofa: Learning To Love My AirPods,"
<https://www.applevis.com/blog/opinion/blind-santa-audible-books-me-me>
"Blind Santa: Audible Books from me to me," and
<https://www.applevis.com/blog/iphone-opinion/sleeping-stars-old-time-radio-
and-my-iphone> "Sleeping With The Stars: Old Time Radio and my iPhone."
Submitted by Morgan - Member of the AppleVis Editorial Team at:
www.applevis.com
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