**** ETNI on the web http://www.etni.org.il http://www.etni.org **** continued from last week - Shabbat Shalom Marsha and Avi One thing, however, has caused me doubt and anxiety: How was it that occasionally the most trustworthy child would let me down? How was it that, though admittedly rarely, there would be a sudden eruption of unruly behavior by a given group? Maybe adults are no better, only more self-controlled, more certain, more reliable and dependable. Persistently I sought answers to these questions and gradually the following began to dawn on me: a. If a teacher is intent on seeking out traits and values which seem to him to be especially valuable, if it is his desire to force everyone into a single mold ? he will be making a big mistake; some will pretend to follow his tenets while others will genuinely heed his suggestions ? for a time. When the real face of the child shows itself, not only the teacher but the child as well will be surely hurt. The greater the effort in pretending to yield to influence ? the stormier will be the reaction. Once the child has revealed his real intentions, he has little more to lose. What an important lesson is there in this. b. The teacher uses one measure of evaluating while the group uses another: both he and the group sense the richness of the spirit; he waits for them to develop, while they wait to see what immediate good will come of those riches, whether he will share what he has, or keep it all to himself as an exclusive privilege ? the conceited, jealous, and self-centered miser. He won't tell any stories, won't play games, won't draw or help out, won't be obliging ? he's doing a big favor, you have to beg him. Alone and isolated, the child makes a strong effort to win the good graces of his own peer community which eagerly accepts his conversion. He did not become spoiled suddenly; on the contrary, he understood perfectly and reformed. c. I found the following explanation in a book on the training of animals. A lion isn't dangerous when angry, but when playful and eager to frolic; the group is as strong as the lion? Solutions are to be sought not only in psychology, but even more so in medical books, in sociology, ethnology, history, poetry, criminology, in the payer book, and in the handbooks on animal training. Ars longa. d. The best but by far not the final explanation dawned on me. A child can become intoxicated with the oxygen of the air as an adult can with alcohol. Excitement, loss of control, recklessness, giddiness; as a reaction, embarrassment, a lump in the throat, a feeling of disgust, and guilt. My own observation is accurate ? it is clinical. The most stable person can get tipsy. Don't scold: this obvious childish intoxication arouses respect and emotion; it does not estrange and set apart, but draws us closer and binds us. Janusz Korczak, "The Child's Right to Respect", 1923 _________________________________________________________________ Tired of spam? Get advanced junk mail protection with MSN 8. http://join.msn.com/?page=features/junkmail ##### To send a message to the ETNI list email: etni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx ##### ##### Send queries and questions to: ask@xxxxxxxx #####