From: DAVID ROSS <dwross@xxxxxxxxx>
Sent: August 28, 2022 1:07 PM
To: dsp.ea.large.messages@xxxxxxxxx
Subject: Fwd: Senior sayings
FYI
**** Senior sayings
“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that
it has never tried to contact us.” – Bill Watterson
I’m responsible for what I say, not what you understand.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it the most never use it.
My tolerance for idiots is extremely low these days. I used to have some
immunity built up, but obviously there's a new strain out there.
It’s not my age that bothers me, it’s the side effects.
I’m not saying I’m old and worn out, but I make sure I’m nowhere near the curb
on trash day.
As I watch this generation try to rewrite our history, one thing I'm sure of ..
it will be poor grammar, misspelled, no punctuations and may not make any sense
at all.
As I got older, people think I’ve become lazy. The truth is I’m just being
more energy efficient.
I got nothing done today. I've been in the Produce Department trying to open
this stupid plastic bag.
I want to be 18 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas now.
God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of
the world. Then he made the earth round...and laughed and laughed and laughed.
I'm on two diets. I wasn't getting enough food on one.
I put my scale in the bathroom corner and that's where the little liar will
stay until it apologizes.
My mind is like an internet browser. At least 19 open tabs, 3 of them are
frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from.
Hard to believe I once had a phone attached to a wall, and when it rang, I
picked it up without knowing who was calling.
Apparently RSVP-ing to a wedding invitation "Maybe next time" isn't the correct
response.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found
“Mute" by now.
So you’ve been eating Hot Dogs and McBurgers all your life, but you won’t take
a vaccine shot that may save your life because you don’t know what’s in it?
There is no such thing as a grouchy old person. The truth is, once you get
old, you stop being polite, and start being honest.
