First of all, A Happy and Prosperous New Year to all my readers...:-).
I think a very good New Year Revolution would be instead of Nuclear
Button Diplomacy, we should have Belly Button Diplomacy. This is a new
world concept in political diplomacy derived from the two fat men who
once bumped into one another, hurt each other accidentally and had a
non-violent argument by placing their hands in their pockets and pushing
their belly buttons against one another, so limiting their fists, and
allowing them to vent their spleens using hot air, as they continued
their argument verbally. It might not resolve the problem between them,
but there is a lot of hot air released between the two of them, and it
has the merit of not affecting anyone else...apart from giving them a
laugh, instead of the jitters.
This would mean that instead of world leaders using the world ruler
technique as a measurement for working out the physics of nuclear
Armageddon between themselves on behalf of the rest of us through their
personal egos and stupidity, by engaging in international diplomacy via
Twitter, they could sit down at a table opposite one another and
continue with the rules of Belly-Button diplomacy. This would allow for
such topics as who has the biggest belly button, who has the longest
one, the deepest one and which one's belly button is nearest to their
arseholes, compared with their mouths and deciding which orifice is the
best for talking to one another with.
Belly button diplomacy has the merit that it is a completely useless
exercise because whatever measurement techniques one uses, there is no
way of proving that the best shaped, biggest, longest, shortest or
fattest or loudest, or even aesthetic belly button is indeed the best
one, as they are completely useless and redundant items, definitions of
beauty or ugliness for big boys and girls, (though, if they protrude
enough, they could help hold up the table between them, and then we
could have a contest about what is being laid on the table, and off the
table as options. One of the problems with this type of diplomacy is
that one should make sure that their hands are tied behind their backs,
in case they can't keep them in their pockets; so that they have no
opportunity of pushing other peoples nuclear buttons other than their own.
I can't see why the USA can't get nuclear weapons altogether, then
nobody else would have an excuse for keeping them. They can only be
used for one thing, destruction of life on the planet as we know it.
Are such a tremendous and continuing waste of money and resources, have
long and short term pollution effects, both human and ecological and bad
for the environment of all life forms as well as the planet. It would
allow them to spend more money on bringing peace to the Middle East by
investing the money in peaceful and moral and ethical projects instead
of keeping corrupt and antiquated and undemocratic regimes in power.
I can see that it is going to be a wonderfully, funny and exhilarating
New Year.
Fat chance of that...which reminds me...back to the contemplation of my
belly button...:-).
Let us hope that it doesn't start off or end up with a Big
Bang...Fireworks displays are much more fun and entertaining for the
masses, keep the kids happy and, when there is an accident, it doesn't
take a million years to recover from it....but there you are...who am I,
to think such things.
Dougie.
