[CTS] Re: Letter of Resignation
- From: Hal Brown <hal@xxxxxxxx>
- To: computertalkshop@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Wed, 18 Dec 2002 14:56:26 -0500
LOL I think I know this guy. If not I have worked for a few like him.
On Wed, Dec 18, 2002 at 12:45:26PM -0700, John McLaughlin duly noted:
>
>Hi All,
>
>Jackie will also have seen this, but I beat her to the forward.
>
>John McLaughlin in sunny Arizona, praying for the California rains to
>come.
>
>"This is an actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex
>Computers, USA, to his boss. His boss apparently resigned very soon
>afterwards!"
>
>
>Dear Mr Baker, As an employee of an institution of higher education, I
>have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct
>superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground
>squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my co-
>workers and myself during the commission of our duties, I can only
>surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
>Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of
>everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not
>only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired
>because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently
>hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you
>vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
>hundredth time.
>
>
>You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as
>binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand
>why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even
>though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an
>IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You
>walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in
>others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have
>worked for your interview, but now that you actually have
>responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent
>will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial
>evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and
>laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
>Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a
>full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation;
>however I have a few parting thoughts.
>
>
>1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to
>give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I
>prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the
>next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be
>unable to do it on your own.
>
>
>2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know
>every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to
>get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I
>conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do
>believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the
>administration.
>
>
>3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your
>mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take
>pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them
>like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never
>seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those
>have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a
>glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please. I
>hate having to correct your mistakes.)
>
>
>Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my
>desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your
>little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never
>f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do
>with all that free time!
>
>Sincerely
>
>Darryl Brewer
--------end quoted text----------
--
Hal Brown
mailto: hal@xxxxxxxx
http://adwt.com
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