[cochiselinux] some humor to lighten the linux learning curve
- From: "Mascha Miedaner" <biomagnetic@xxxxxxxxxx>
- To: cochiselinux@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 18:58:41 -0700
[Tfug] If Linux was a car ... Found on the 'net (langa.com) ---------
Included Stuff Follows ---------------- 10) Just For Grins Brooks Hatch
sendsalong this spoof of Linux:    If Linux was a car...Sense
of Humor required! M: Hey Pete, Can you help me put a radio in my Debian? P:
You're an Idiot, RTFM! M: I need more help than that. P: You're an idiot! I
did a Google search. It's in the page referenced by the footnote in the 37th
hit. If I could find it, so can you. GS: (good Samaritan) You need to
rebuildthe engine to add a radio. M: Rebuild the engine? P: You're an idiot!
GS: There's a how-to.It's written for a "Hat", but it's mostly correct
exceptthat engine is in the rear. It's translated from German, but they did
apretty good job. It'll tell you to hook the radio to the red and black
wires, but since you've got a Debian, there won't be any red and black
wires.And you still need to write the radio driver. Don't forget to regrind
the camshaft. If you don't, you'll get an error message that you don't have
permission to change the tire pressure, but it's the camshaft. You'll need a
lot of tools, but you can get them for free. Most of them come with
instructions... about 900 pages in all. Read 'em all carefully and
understand'em before you start. Should be able to figure it all out in a
couple of months. [MUCH LATER...] M: Hey Pete, I didn't get all the stuff I
needed to rebuild my engine. Can I borrow your Drake again? P: The wife has
the Drake, but you can borrow the Hat. M: This is different. Where's the
steering wheel? P: That dashboard was really using a lot of gas.This has
whatis called a CLI. Just type CTRL-L to go left and CTRL-R to go right. M:
What about the gas and brakes? P: That's all combined into a single speed
number. Just type ps | grep speed.The headings are in Klingon, but the third
number is the one you want. Just divide by the speed of light to get
meters/second. You'll have to parse it out, calculate the new speed and use
the nice function to change the priority of the process. That changes the
speed. If you had just read the manpage, I wouldn't have had to tell you all
that. M: Which manpage?....never mind... What if I need to stop in a hurry?
P: Gotcha covered. There's a script for panic stops. Just type
PanicStop-3.8.63278665- HAT when=now. It will ask you for a password. Enter
the password and hang on cause you're gonna stop real quick. I'm really
proudof the deceleration optimization routine. Be careful typing, it's case
sensitive. If it gives you a cryptic error message and doesn't stop, it's
probably because you forgot to add yourself to the brakes group. It's all in
the manpage. M: Which manpage?....never mind... [MUCH, MUCH LATER....] M: I
wish I hadn't sold my Gates. At least I could drive it to town and pick up
Granny.... P: You're an idiot!..... -- Mascha Miedaner
biomagnetic@xxxxxxxxxx
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