[cinci_dads] Humorous labels
- From: "donhoffmann" <donhoffmann@xxxxxxx>
- To: "Mike Langford" <LAFOOTE@xxxxxxx>,"Joe Kruger" <Joekruger2000@xxxxxx>,"Dave Hoffmann" <EVADHOFF@xxxxxxx>,"Elizabeth Hoffmann" <hoffmaea@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>,"EVAD2984" <EVAD2984@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, <cinci_dads@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 16 Aug 2001 09:16:15 -0500
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sear's hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."
(Gee that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside."
(The shoplifter special)
On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how ...?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But its "just" a suggestion)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
Do not turn upside down."
(Too late!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
(As night follows day . . .)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just
get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(One would hope.)
On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
( Step 3: Fly Delta.)
On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands"
(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've laughed your head off it's your turn to spread the
stupidity and
send this to someone you want to have a good laugh... in other words send it
to everyone. We all need a good smile every once in a while.
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