From: "JEFF KLEINSMITH" <kleinsmithj17@xxxxxxx> To: pathom528@xxxxxx, scandal122317@xxxxxxxxxxxxx Subject: Fwd: Things to know Date: Mon, 29 Apr 2002 15:18:12 +0000
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- From: "Marlene Clydesdale" <mclydesdale@xxxxxxxxx>
- To: <das1@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>, <HReich5097@xxxxxxx>, <SBMROZ@xxxxxxx>, "Helen M. Tarasovich" <htarasovich@xxxxxxxxx>, "Matthew C. Ashby" <mashby@xxxxxxxxx>, <armerrill@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, <BSMiller@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>, <winger@xxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 24 Apr 2002 14:30:27 -0400
>1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your >groin unprotected. > >2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, >no pain. > >3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape. > >4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze >pilots wore helmets. > >5. Do you think illiterate people get the full affect >of alphabet soup? > >6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should >have been more specific. > >7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets >mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks >his head out the window? > >8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is >an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac? > >9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started >walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now >and we have no idea where she is. > >10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I >go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how >long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are >always locking three of them. > >11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from >some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best >friends. If they are OK, then it must be you. > >12. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. >I think if you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all >over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem. > >13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls >and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful >animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have >photographs of her on the walls. > >14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my >suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was >murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there >were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too." > >15. Future historians will be able to study at the >Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the >Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton >Adult Bookstore. > > ___________________________________________________________
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