[cinci_dads] Re: Fw: medical info.
- From: Kate Powers <kpowers@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: "'cinci_dads@xxxxxxxxxxxxx'" <cinci_dads@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Wed, 10 Jul 2002 10:29:12 -0400
This one is great!
-----Original Message-----
From: Dan Zavon [mailto:dzavon@xxxxxxxxxxxx]
Sent: Tuesday, July 09, 2002 10:06 PM
To: Stay-at-home Dads Cincinnati; Bernie Markstein; Blake D. Baird
Subject: [cinci_dads] Fw: medical info.
----- Original Message -----
From: <BAKLEO3@xxxxxxx>
To: <storie13@xxxxxxx>; <sfbass@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>; <esbeeler@xxxxxxxxxxx>;
<Lesslea@xxxxxxx>; <FIVECOOPS@xxxxxxx>; <Sarah.Gideonse@xxxxxxx>;
<BigCheefy02@xxxxxxx>; <Spankywarptmonky@xxxxxxx>; <charleslouise@xxxxxxxx>;
<Zoeyonly@xxxxxxx>; <Kileytim@xxxxxxx>; <Klielock@xxxxxxx>; "Greg Klie"
<gdkst2@xxxxxxxx>; <jklie@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>; <SMKlie@xxxxxxx>;
<cklosterman@xxxxxxxxxxxx>; <MNDgirlie03@xxxxxxx>; <Cblegs2047@xxxxxx>;
<Beckylilley@xxxxxxx>; <Mmax1214@xxxxxx>; "David McPheeters"
<mariner100@xxxxxxx>; <TWRaine@xxxxxxxxx>; <BSafriet@xxxxxxx>;
<LADYBM@xxxxxxxx>; <KzinCubs@xxxxxxx>; <DZavon@xxxxxxxxxxxx>;
<Nolthairt@xxxxxxx>
Sent: Monday, June 10, 2002 7:08 PM
Subject: medical info.
> Medical Breakthrough Medications
>
>
> St. Mom's Wort ... Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering
> preschoolers unconscious for up to six hours.
>
>
> Empty Nestrogen ... Highly effective suppository that eliminates
melancholy
> by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you
> couldn't wait til they moved out.
>
>
> Peptobimbo ... Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed
> before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and
> improves flirting.
>
>
> Dumerol ... When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low I.Q.
> causing enjoyment of country western music.
>
>
> Flipitor .. Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road
rage
> and the urge to flip off other drivers.
>
>
> Antiboyotics ... When administered to teenage girls, is highly effective
in
> improving grades, freeing up phone lines, and reducing money spent on
> make-up.
>
>
> Menicillin ... Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to
> such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person ... can we get
naked
> now?"
>
>
> Buyagra ... Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases
potency
> and duration of spending spree.
>
>
> Extra Strength Buy-one-all ... When combined with Buyagra, can cause an
> indiscriminant buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with
a
> Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.
>
>
> Jack Asspirin ... Relieves the headache caused by a man who can't remember
> your birthday, anniversary or phone number.
>
>
> Anti-talksident ... A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on
anyone
> too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.
>
>
> Sexcedrin ... Bedroom aerosol spray for men. More effective than Excedrin
in
> treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.
>
>
> Ragamet ... When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation
as
> ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing
it
> herself.
>
>
> Men-Gay ... A rub-in ointment that enables single women to identify who to
> cross off the dating pool.
>
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>>>--------------------> NOTICE <--------------------<<<
The information transmitted, or contained or attached to or with this Notice is
intended only for the person or entity to which it is addressed and may contain
Protected Health Information (PHI), confidential and/or privileged material.
Any review, transmission, dissemination, other use of, or taking of any action
in reliance upon this information by persons or entities other than the
intended recipient without the express written consent of the sender is
prohibited. If you received this in error, please contact The Children's Home
of Cincinnati's Privacy Officer at (513) 272-2800 immediately for further
instructions about returning or destroying all copies of these documents.
This information may be protected by the Health Insurance Portability and
Accountability Act of 1996 (HIPAA), and other Federal and Ohio laws. Improper
or unauthorized use or disclosure of this information could result in civil
and/or criminal penalties.
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