[chadfree] Don't fart in bed

  • From: "Mike" <mikebike@xxxxxxxxx>
  • To: chadfree@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Sat, 06 Mar 2004 18:30:43 -0800

From the web<G>  Mike

Dont Fart in Bed

 This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The
only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly
every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell
would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would
plead with him to stop ripping them off  because it was making her sick. He
told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him
to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

 The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then one Thanksgiving
morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound
asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and
neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to
her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep
and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic
waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his
shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual
trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of
frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years
of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty
minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained  underpants
with a look of horror on his face. She
 bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

 He said, "Honey, you were right." "All these years you have warned me  and
I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his wife. Well, you
always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it
 finally happened.... But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two
fingers, I think I got most of them back in."

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