[Bristol-Birds] You would not believe the apparent obscenities.

  • From: "Wallace Coffey" <jwcoffey@xxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: "Bristol-birds" <bristol-birds@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  • Date: Mon, 1 Jun 2009 23:20:52 -0400

The neighbors around here are pretty crude at times.
It would astound you how they get out in the yards 
and fuss, curse, fight and threaten anyone and everyone.

I ended up in the middle of just such a fracas this evening
and it was not my fault whatsoever.  I'll admit, whenever
a disturbance gets started I do peep out the window,
hide behind my car and watch or whatever.  I like to 
think I am staying informed.  Carolyn does believe that.  

This evening about 8 o'clock,  I was sitting on my patio,
in the shade, watching small birds high in the tall oaks.
Titmice were busy calling and going here and there.

From time to time I watched the appointed coming and
goings of the crows which are nesting in the White
Pines where the Cooper's Hawks nested last spring.

One of the pair was passing over my terrace when it
noticed me lounging on the yard furniture.  It scurried
back to a perch above the back brick wall and began
to protest.

You would not believe the apparent obscenities.  At first,
crow was the only one concerned.  But its mate arrived
to check out the commotion.  There must be strength
or confidence in numbers.  Now, two of them were
verbally assaulting me from about 30 feet away.

Wouldn't you know, the smallest occupants from the
yard next-door started towards the disturbance.  Carolina
Wrens -- two apparent adults.  Struggling to keep up but
just as enthused came five children from the April brood.

The adult wrens began to spew some of the worst language
you have ever heard.  Funny how kids pick up such bad
behavior and learn to imitate ugliness. Everything the older
wrens did was repeated at least five times as each of the
kids showed how grown up and angry they could be.

Where does all of this anger coming from ? 

Nuthatch came down a nearby tree and began to encourage
the melee.  At least 'hatch did not try to be a peacemaker.

Shortly, chickadee and several friends arrived.  Flitting from
tree to tree, trying to determine the trouble.  One checked 
the spot under a shrub where black snake sometimes is
coiled.  Another went to the House Wren's house.  Nothing

It had now reached the cuss fight of all cuss fights for the
month of June.

One chickadee, knowing how much young females cannot
resist the urge of a bad boy telling lies and strutting his
stuff, always trying to act so innocent and cool. Chickadee
got his never up.

"Big bird" chickadee was behind me.  Everyone was pointing
me out and shouting unbecoming claims and accusations.
The vulgarities and profanity would make a horned owl blush.

Then "big bird" chickadee dashed at me.  He flew in from 
behind my neck, whipped around in front of my face.  Almost
hovering, he dared me to my face while hanging in the air,
not a foot away.  I was almost cross-eyed and pulling my
head back to focus on his threats.

Everyone began to get all worked up from this brave and
brazen gesture.  Probably an easy dozen were chanting 
and screaming with robin being the loudest.

Surprisingly,  I discovered that the crows had 
either lost interest or heard someone had called 
the wildlife police. They were nowhere to be found.

Robin was not nice and showed his tail feathers more than
once.  He really wanted a piece of the action but could 
not seem to discern how to get involved except to make loud
exclamations from most of the more obvious podiums.

It seemed like the best thing to do was to make a graceful
exit and back out of the scene.  But when I reached for the
arm of my chair there were screams of coward, chicken (an unusual,
demeaning name for a bird to use) and various other 
utterances that are not fit for polite birders on a listserv.

Robin flew to the top of my roof and noticed something that
was more important on the front side of the house.  Titmouse
began gleaming the limbs for another morsel or so.

Suddenly, an adult wren flew 
about 50 feet down the terrace
to my big feeder and began to 
search for whatever.  None of
the birds had been satisfied 
with the intruder outcome at the
patio.  For some unexpected 
reason, two of the adult wrens
proceeded to get into a fuss 
and real fight broke out.  At least
one feather was seen to fall out.  

This must be some kind of family 
or neighbor squabble that is
honored as a no-interference 
and best-ignored domestic problem.

The suspects tumbled along over the ground for about two feet.
All the young wrens flew about.  One went back and forth to
the brick planter atop the wall maybe a half a dozen times.  
Others hopped about branches.  Lots of verbal recognition was
given to the wren fight by those running all about like wrens
"with their heads cut off."

The fight spilled over into the driveway below my terrace.  All of
the young wrens scampered to keep up with the action as the
loser was indignantly chased down the driveway.

There is going to be a lot of talk about this big fight when daybreak
comes.  I hate to think how all of the girls will tell their friends how
bad boy chickadee plucked the eyebrows from my face and 
knocked my hat to the ground.  How he later pointed out that he
had done nothing wrong because it was all in self defense.  That
he is a quiet chickadee which just got drug into this my me when
I gave him a dirty look he didn't deserve.  He will tell them he is
as soft-spoken as a bluebird and just as innocent.


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  • » [Bristol-Birds] You would not believe the apparent obscenities. - Wallace Coffey