But you were right to insist on marriage because in our society, it provides
legal and financial protection for both partners. From filing taxes to medical
decisions to inheritance, a spouse is protected. An unmarried partner is not.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
<blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> On Behalf Of Carl Jarvis
Sent: Thursday, August 16, 2018 7:51 PM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: [blind-democracy]
I agree with what you say. "demand that no one hurts another person or has sex
with another person against his or her will, and that the other person be
mature enough to give full consent."
And that is all people need. Unless they are old fashioned or insecure...like
me. Then they need a piece of paper and a judge or minister to make it
final...until it isn't.
I've been married by a minister and two judges, once in a church, once in my
parents living room and once in Cathy and my house in Renton.
That last one was at my insistence(whining and begging). That was in February
of 1982. We'd been in our home for 13 months and another 11 months in my house
in Skyway(Seattle).
Cathy was 29, and absolutely beautiful. She had been sought after by every
single man in the Agency, and a number who were married.
Although I'd known many very nice women, I had never been lucky enough to have
won the hand of the Fairy Princess. Once when we were first dating, the Agency
had a meeting at the Ben Franklin Hotel, in Seattle. As Cathy entered the
lobby, decked out in her finery, the entire Houston Oilers burst into the
hotel. Everyone of these huge mammoths zeroed in on Cathy, saying things like,
"Hello, little darling", and "Don't I know you from San Francisco?"
When we bought our house in Renton, I proposed marriage. Cathy could care
less. She said she didn't need a piece of paper and a bunch of mumbo jumbo to
know that I was her Life's Mate. She only agreed because she was still using
her previous married name, and she did not want to go through the rest of her
life being reminded of some very hard times. In brief, she said that she told
her husband that he would have to choose between her and the bottle. "The
bottle won", she said. Over the forty years we've been together, I finally
have begun to believe I really did win the brass ring.
Carl Jarvis
On 8/16/18, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
There was an interesting person on Flashpoints yesterday, and I
listened to a good part of what he said today. He pointed out that
these reports on sexual abuse in the Catholic Church appear
periodically, and that no member of the church hierarchy is ever held
accountable. He said that this is because when the reports are
released, it is after an agreement has been signed that the Church
will be indemnified, not held accountable legally for the abuse. The
victims are paid reparations with an agreement not to discuss the
abuse anymore. Within the church, the abuse is a sin. However,
reporting the abuse to outside authorities is considered to be a crime
according to church law. Members of the church see the law of the
church as being higher than the law of the countries of which they are
citizens. Until the structure of the institution is changed and the
power relations are rearranged, and chastity for priests is no longer
required, we will continue to have these periodic scandals. He also
said that Pope Francis is a figurehead whom we like because of how the
media represent him, in the same way that Obama was a figurehead. In each
ase, we expected changes when this benign appearing leader appeared, and in
each case, nothing really changed.
The guest on Flashpoints pointed out other examples of how the
Catholic Church, as an institution, is corrupted and has harmed
people. One of these is that the Church operated the schools for First
Nations children in Canada where children were abused and died.
I feel like there are gradations of evil. If one looks at how
celebrities have abused women, and compare that to the sexual abuse of
children by priests, I think that the abuse of children is worse. The
women who were abused by celebrities, had some agency. Often, they were
building careers.
They made choices related to building those careers. The behavior of
those male celebrities was bad, but it was almost never forcible rape,
although some of it came very close. Some of it was viewed differently
in the past than it is now.
I recently started reading a book by Daniel Mendelsohn. He wrote a
current book about how his father began attending a course he was
teaching on the Odyssey. I became interested in him and found another
book that he wrote earlier in his life about being a gay man in New
York. He writes about being a man and how gay men were free to live
their sexual lives without the pressure of marriage and fatherhood.
He's intelligent and sensitive. Yet, he revels in a lifestyle which
glorifies, casual, temporary, impersonal sexual encounters. It seems
like, whether gay or straight, what is natural and most comfortable
for men is lots of sex with lots of people. Even where there were gay
men living together for years, each of them had continuous brief encounters
with other people.
So if that is what is natural for men, what kind of moralizing can we
do about people's sexual behavior except to demand that no one hurts
another person or has sex with another person against his or her will,
and that the other person be mature enough to give full consent?
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
<blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> On Behalf Of Carl Jarvis
Sent: Thursday, August 16, 2018 11:54 AM
To: blind-democracy <blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Subject: [blind-democracy]
The articles coming out of Pennsylvania regarding misconduct of a
large number of Catholic Priests, coupled with the on-going exposee of
sexual abuses among celebrities and political leaders, raises a troubling
question.
Is Moral Integrity nothing more than an unreachable Dream?
What do you think? Is this behavior so ingrained that it will always
be with us? What do you believe is the underlying cause(s)? What
solutions can you envision working?
Carl Jarvis