I hope that the next time I express my opinion on something just like
everyone else does that you will follow your own advice here.
---
Voltaire
??? Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
???
??? Voltaire,
On 7/25/2019 5:00 PM, Miriam Vieni wrote:
I think that in the past, I mentioned having been a member of a women's
consciousness raising group. If I remember correctly, the group was formed
in 1970. There was a project at the State College at Old Westbury which was
organizing women's discussion groups throughout Long Island. I was reminded
of the origins of that group while reading a novel which mentioned the
political revolutionary spirit that was involved in the formation of the
State College at Old Westbury. I'd forgotten that. Anyway, these groups were
not the usual sort of discussion groups. There was a special format which
had been developed to help people talk about the important, intimate aspects
of their lives in a warm and accepting environment, one where they wouldn't
feel judged or criticized. The idea was that if women talked about their
lives, they would see that there was a pattern, a system of male domination
imbedded in our culture which had influenced what happened to them. They
would see that their experiences were not only their own individual
experiences, but were part of a whole social system which imprisoned them.
They would see that, "the personal is political". In order for the group to
work effectively, we had to be careful not to be judgmental toward each
other. We had to learn to listen, to express understanding, but not to
criticize. In a way, what we were asked to do in those consciousness raising
groups, was similar to what I'd been taught to do in the counseling classes
in social work school. When I was growing up and during my early adulthood,
there was a rule, a sort of folk wisdom saying, that everyone knew and of
which we reminded each other as the dates for family gatherings approached.
It's a rule for good manners that my older daughter and son-in-law heard
somewhere, (certainly not from me), and that they try to observe whenever
they entertain company. The rule is, "Don't discuss religion or politics".
Of course, this can result in some pretty boring conversations, but it does
keep the peace. Everyone is calm and good natured and no one's digestion is
disturbed. Then, in the 1990's, I found myself participating on several
email groups, usually groups for potential adoptive parents. I was doing
adoption home studies and participating on those lists was a way to form
relationships and acquire clients. I remember that there were very sstrict
rules on those lists, regarding how people behaved toward each other. People
could get pretty emotional when discussing adopting from different
countries, children of different races, different adoption agencies, etc.
The rule was, "No flaming anyone!", and it was strictly administered. But
things have changed on the internet. I gather that few people use email
lists anymore. I see notices to people who leave comments regarding various
articles, requesting them to be civil. And on podcasts, I hear about how
devastating people's tweets can be. I read in novels about how young people
can be terrorized by what is written on Facebook pages.
Perhaps it's the impersonality of the internet that permits people to stop
seeing the humanity in other people. Perhaps it would be helpful if each
time we were about to write something on the internet, we would think about
the recipients of what we write, sitting around our kitchen tables with cups
of coffee or tea and a piece of blueberry pie. We could pretend that the
most difficult guy on an email list is our elderly, grouchy uncle.
Miriam
