Miriam,
It's possible that the woman was trying to be helpful, but my memory
is that it was pretty apparent that she was flustered and just blurted
out the first thing that came into mind. But at any rate, it's the
only time in 52 years of total blindness, and many, many dotted lines
to sign, that I was ever told which way to write. Now Cathy has often
stood next to me and said things like, "You're going too far down",
or, "You've got to make your letters smaller". Early on Cathy learned
to always have me sign a form first, because I invariably would sign
right into her signature. My writing has become so bad that whenever
possible I have Cathy sign both of our names. Following my heart
procedure, I had to have my blood drawn every week for several weeks.
The woman at the desk would not allow Cathy to sign my name, even when
I declared that I would take my business elsewhere. She stood over me
and cooed, "You can do it, I know you can." And each time I would go
up to the counter I would say to Cathy, "Damn, I was going to practice
before I came here."
Carl Jarvis
On 6/26/17, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
OK. The reason the woman at the registration desk told you to go to the
right was that she didn't know whether you'd know how the page was oriented.
Maybe it was sideways. I've seen that happen at the front desk in my
building. By the way, I hate signing for stuff when I can't see where I'm
signing and have no guide. And especially if the person at the desk doesn't
know me or doesn't speak English well. I recently remembered that I had a
signature stamp in my desk drawer. Now, if I'm called and told there's a
package waiting, I take my signature stamp and ink pad with me downstairs.
Of course, the folks who don't speak English, often don't understand about
the signature stamp either, but it's still easier than getting them to show
me where to sign.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl Jarvis
Sent: Monday, June 26, 2017 5:12 PM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Palestinian Center for Human Rights: Gaza
Ignorance can be found up and down the entire IQ scale. I think it's harder
to understand it when we are talking with someone we think is above average
intelligence.
Of course being blind more than 52 years and spending most of my adulthood
in the field of Work with the Blind, the stories are endless. I swear that
for some folks the word Blind activates a switch that shuts their brain
down. The waitress who poured me coffee and announced, "Careful, it's hot",
also poured Cathy's coffee, right out of the same carafe, but never warned
her to be careful. Is that because sighted folks can "see" the heat
rising?
Then there was the woman at the hotel desk who told us we'd need to sign the
register. Since I was closest I took the pen. The woman suddenly became
aware that I was blind...my white travel cane gave me away, and she took my
hand and put the pen tip on the line. That was all right, but what came
next makes me chuckle every time I think about it. "Start here and go to
the right". I wanted to ask her how many blind people had signed by going
to the left.
And just because someone is blind does not make them imune to showing their
ignorance.
One of my students needed to take care of some business at the King County
Court House. He had proven himself to be a decent traveler, so I told him
that he would need to catch the #7 bus and get off at James Street. "How
will I know it's the #7 bus? I'm blind." That was one comment that always
got under my skin. "Of course you're blind.
That's the reason you're here!" But instead, I patiently said "If the
driver opens the bus door and does not announce the bus number, you might
want to ask. Most bus drivers can speak." Talking with students, I might
say, "I saw the Mariner's game on TV last night".
"Heard. You mean heard, not saw," a student invaribly would announce.
I would explain that we use the common expressions even though we are unable
to actually "See" the TV. And sure enough, within a day or two some new
student would announce to another, "Well, I'll be hearing you later." And
then they become indignant when I suggest that most people will know that
they are blind without them having to make an issue out of it. Following
this logic, a deaf blind person should say, "I'll smell you later".
Oh well, the fellow said to me, "Ignorance is bliss". And I thought, "And
that comment proves the point exactly."
Carl Jarvis
On 6/26/17, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
My classic story took place when we were on vacation in St. Thomas. We
were on the beach, relaxing in lounges, reading braille books. Someone
else on that beach, a man, began chatting with Fred. At some point, he
mentioned that he was a psychiatrist which, I suppose is neither here
nor there. But a bit later he said, "Can I ask you something about that
book you're reading?"
Fred said he could and then he asked, "How do you know where you are
on the page?". I don't remember Fred's answer. I don't even understand
the question!
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl Jarvis
Sent: Monday, June 26, 2017 12:24 PM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Palestinian Center for Human Rights:
Gaza
Nice? A fellow over on the ACB Chat List told me that I'm a Classic
Passive Aggressive. It was not meant as a compliment. Most of my
early life was focused on pleasing others...especially Mother. As a
newly blind person, I tried not to offend offensive people when they
asked nosy questions about my disability. Then I advanced to giving
"smart mouthed" answers. Finally I decided that since this natural
curiosity of people was not going to change, I'd try to figure out the
shortest and smartest ways to "educate" them.
In the OTC, I reminded my students that this constant nosy questioning
was going to happen...forever. How they handled it would depend on
their own personality. But I said that resolving how they answered
these questioners would make a difference in their own lives.
So I arranged speaking dates with various elementary schools. I would
select certain students to go with me and tell the children how they
became blind and what that meant in their lives. My thought there was
to help newly blind students to talk about blindness and how it
affected them, in order to become more comfortable with the subject.
Then we would field questions from the children. I would also ask
them what they would do if they woke up totally blind. Many children
said, "I'd call for my mother", and also many said, "I'd kill myself".
The questions they would ask were mostly serious questions about the
students who were presenting. "How do you find your way around your
house?"
But some of the questions were silly. "How do you know you're not
putting on your wife's panty hose?" one smart kid asked me.
The class began to titter. "That's a very good question", I said.
That stopped the giggles, and the children listened to see just how
such silliness could be a good question. "Many people think that when
you become blind, you also become stupid. But that's not the case.
Blind people are just as capable of telling their under ware from
their wife's by touch. Do you think you would make that mistake if
you were in a dark room and picked up your under ware and a pair of
your mother's panty hose?"
Assuming a role as "Teacher" is just my own way of dealing with nosy
people.
The other day, in the entrence of a restaurant, a woman asked me if I
didn't become frightened by crowds like the one here in the entrence.
Instead of answering, I asked her if she became frightened under the
same conditions. "Of course not. But I can see", she said.
"Yes", I answered, "But you are a woman, and I wondered how a woman
would react to a crowded, noisy place". She walked away from me
without answering me. But Cathy said she gave me an "Ugly" look as
she left. Maybe I embarrassed her, and most likely she didn't get my
point, but I felt better.
And maybe one day this woman will stop and reflect on this notion
that we can ask rude or personal questions of a total stranger simply
because they are blind.
Carl Jarvis
On 6/25/17, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Which goes to show that you are a much nicer person than I. Years
ago, I was in a department store with my guide dog and a woman said
to me, "How did you get like hat?". I thought she was asking a very
rude question. I answered, "That's a very personal question.", and I
walked away. I don't think that the fact of my disability gives
people a right to be rude. I think that people should show some
discretion.
While we were considering becoming involved in a transracial
adoption, I was given a ride to a medical appointment by a volunteer.
She had three children. Two of her three daughters had blonde hair
like she did. The third was several years younger and looked very
different.
She had light brown skin and very curly black hair. I was really
curious about her. I really wanted to know if she had been adopted
and from where. But I didn't ask because I felt that it wasn't any of
my business.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl
Jarvis
Sent: Sunday, June 25, 2017 12:51 PM
To: Roger Loran Bailey <rogerbailey81@xxxxxxx>
Cc: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Palestinian Center for Human Rights:
Gaza
We're all put together differently. Some of us consider constant
questioning regarding our blindness to be an imposition. Some of us
become annoyed. When very early on, I found myself giving "Smart"
answers to the same old questions, I realized that I was
demonstrating what is called a Passive Aggressive personality. About
the time I took the job as instructor in the Business Enterprises
training cafeteria , 1975, I made the conscious decision to turn even
the simplest query about blindness into an opportunity to educate
that person. In the earlier days, if someone asked, "How did you
lose your sight?" I might answer, "I didn't lose my sight, it was
stolen from me." But I decided to take this annoying, often repeated
question and run with it. "Interesting that you should ask", I would
say brightly, "I get this question often. Mine is a rather long
story, beginning at birth..." And then I would launch into a
detailed account of how I was born with cataracts and took them through
several operations until
the final surgery in 1965 that left me totally blind. Each time I
took this approach, I would look for ways of making my story shorter
and more direct, ending with a question of my own. "Why did you want
to know?"
After this began to bore me, I looked for different approaches.
"It's a very long story, but tell me this, do you really want to hear
how I became blind, or would you rather talk about the barriers
blindness brings with it?" Any question about my individual
blindness could be turned into whatever I felt like discussing,
because the other person had opened the door, and was usually too polite
to say, "Forget it!"
Any time, anywhere someone approached me with a personal question, I
would silently tell myself, "Here comes another educational
opportunity. What do we want to teach today."
The man in the checkout line at the local supermarket would ask, "How
do you know if the clerk is giving you the right denominations in
return?" I might answer, "Each blind person handles such a situation
differently. And each situation is different. But in this present
situation, I was using you, without your knowing it. By holding up
each bill and repeating what the clerk told me, you were watching and
would have spoken up if the clerk made a mistake." People like being
complimented on their honesty and their caring enough to help another
person.
That might be the end of that lesson. I would ask myself if I were
satisfied, or what I might have said differently, or even if I had
made my point.
The other thing I wanted to say is that we Blind People are few
enough in number that we do stand out in a crowd, like it or not.
Understanding that behind our collective blindness we are very
different individuals, I can only suggest that my experience finds
that looking at myself as a teacher and at the public as people
wanting to learn about blindness, I avoid making it personal. Even
though I often use myself as the example. I see the people around me
as being about as human as I am.
And they are all good, to some degree or another. If they are mean
spirited in asking their questions, then they will have to show me.
Otherwise I take them at face value, and I begin thinking how best to
provide some new information to them.
But the truth is, we first must adjust our own attitudes. If we see
the public as rude, nosy people, invading our personal space, then we
will not have a good outing. But if we see the public as students,
seeking understanding, and ourselves as teachers, with something to
offer, then our day will be much brighter.
Carl Jarvis
On 6/21/17, Roger Loran Bailey <rogerbailey81@xxxxxxx> wrote:
When I first found myself teaching sighted people about blindness I
did not consider myself very qualified. That was mainly because I
was freshly blind and didn't know much about it myself. My blindness
may have come on quickly, but it was still gradual and I continued
to use my residual sight as much as possible and as long as
possible. This caused a lot of people to assume that I was faking.
Also, I think I was a rather ubiquitous figure around town and
people recognized me even if they didn't know me. Then suddenly I
turn up tapping my way around with a white cane. Again, the
automatic assumption was that I was faking. I assure you that it got
really tiresome really quickly to be constantly explaining my
situation. I still have some residual vision, but not enough to be
of any use and so I am accused of faking less frequently now, but
now and then they still do it. Nevertheless, it still never fails
that when I meet someone new the main topic of conversation is my
lack of eyesight. I have been tempted to mimeograph sheets with
answers to the most common questions to hand out. I do get tired of
the same old thing all the time and so I always try anymore to steer
the conversation elsewhere, but most people seem to find it
incredible that I would be interested in talking about anything but
blindness.
On 6/21/2017 1:45 PM, Carl Jarvis wrote:
Over the years I have heard the same comment many times. "I'm
tired of putting forth the effort", or, "I didn't sign on to be the
public's teacher about blindness". Since this is not something
that bugs me, I have to scratch around to try to
relate...Hmm...Nope, I have to admit that the best I can do is to
say, "I hear you!" But in fact, it just isn't something that I even
think about.
Explaining about blindness to sighted folks is as natural to me as
explaining that although I am a White Man, I do not associate with
the White Ruling Class. And I also enjoy explaining to Religious
people why I believe that our religious beliefs are at the base of
most of our social problems. But as much as I enjoy talking about
my positions on most any subject, I equally enjoy hearing those of
others...even though it may not appear that way.
It's interesting to think that while I feel that I can relate to
the discrimination felt by a Black Man, or the fear felt by a
person crouched behind the shattered walls of their bombed out
home, I can't relate to a person who tells me, "I never cared to read".
"What!
Not enjoy reading? Impossible!!!" And I struggle to feel what it
is like to be bothered by nosy people, poking into how I do this or
that because they can't relate to being blind. Oh me. Some things
we just have to accept.
Another thought just hit me. We saw a woman yesterday who is 92
years old and has just recently begun losing her sight. She has
other issues, including hearing and dementia. She lives with her
son and her daughter, all share the home. The son is a very
strange fellow, indeed. As soon as we entered the house he asked
me if I were blind.
Now I have to pause here and say that I have a sometimes odd sense
of humor. I said to this fellow, "I bet my long white cane gave it
away". He never missed a beat. "You been blind all your life? Is
it hereditary?" He continued firing one question after the next,
never reacting to my responses. So I began providing answers that
had Cathy wondering if I'd lost my mind. Still, although he bugged
me, it was not because he asked questions, it was because he was
"center staging"
by running on and on. We were there to see his mother, not to
listen to his monologue.
When I was an instructor in the Training Center, students would say
from time to time, "I get sick and tired of having people ask nosy
questions. Just because I'm blind they think they can ask personal
questions." Back then my stock answer was, "You probably get upset
because you don't want to be blind, and their questions force you
to have to deal with it". While I never got hit, I did get a fair
amount of opposition to my remarks. But it was a good launching
place for discussion.
Carl Jarvis
On 6/20/17, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
But each group has an experience that is specific to them. How
each group experiences discrimination, is influenced by the
history and culture of that group. You can point out what all of
the groups have in common. However, when you tell people that
their experiences are like those of other groups, it feels to them
like you are trivializing their specific experience.
The
organizers on the Left had better learn this if they are to be
successful.
Being a Muslim is different from being a Latino. As for being
blind, well, I'm at a point where I just recognize and accept my
rage at how blindness has affected my life both in real terms, and
in terms of social ingteractions with sighted people. But I also
recognize that the sighted people's actions toward me or lack
thereof, are motivated by ignorance and a real terror of blindness.
It really has nothing to do with me as a person.
They don't even know me. I'm invisible. And I'm tired of putting
forth the effort to attempt to remove their fear.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl
Jarvis
Sent: Tuesday, June 20, 2017 10:45 AM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Palestinian Center for Human Rights:
Gaza
True. We Blind Folk aren't shoved out of the way by angry White
Folk, or hunted down and burned out of our homes, or awakened in
the Midnight Hour by a bomb hurtling into our home. We don't have
our farms seized, or made so unsafe that we dare not tend our
crops. We don't have to travel out of our way in order to wait in
long lines at check points, where we are examined like vermin, by
coldly indifferent armed soldiers. Still, exclusion is exclusion.
Being cast into the Outer World, whether violently or
indifferently still has the same dehumanizing effect.
No, I have no real sense of what walking out my door wearing a
Black Skin every day, and seeing the faces of the mostly White
folk as I go about my daily activities...if I have any daily
activities to go about.
And especially, I have no way of relating to an elderly
grandmother tending her garden and seeing, as the last sight she
will ever see, an object hurtling toward her.
Still, many of my friends in the Washington Council of the
Blind(WCB) have learned to compartmentalize the discrimination
they feel as a blind person, and their view of the discrimination
and oppression being experienced by other minorities.
I used to consider these people as being self serving or self
centered.
But
at this moment I see them as victims, no different than those
people around them whom they curse and condemn.
Years back, when I worked on Seattle's waterfront in the Sweat
Shop named Bartmann and Bixer of the Northwest, Incorporated, I
would wander the streets of that area known as Skidrow, or Skid Road.
The bars along First Avenue were segregated to some degree or
other. The Indians had several bars they hung out in, often
making a circuit walking from one bar to another during a Friday
or Saturday night.
The Negroes hung out in a couple of bars further down at the South
end of First Avenue, and no Indian had better put his/her head in
the door.
The
two groups hated one another. Both Blacks and Indians believed
that they were better than the other. "But," I would say to any
who would listen to me, "can't you see that you are both being
treated the same?" But it was as if each minority did all it
could to not be the one at the bottom of the pile. Blacks, by
being "better"
than Indians felt they had a measure of dignity. And Indians felt
that by being "better" than Blacks gave them more stature in the
eyes of the White Masters.
This need to feel superior is turned against us by the Ruling Class.
And so it is around the Globe. One People create a superior image
of themselves, and create an inferior stereotype of those they
oppose.
Perhaps it is so much a part of our Nature that we'll continue
until the last two humans die in a life and death struggle. I
watched a program the other night about the Silver back Gorillas.
As the 35 year old dominate male was finally bested by the
younger, stronger male, I could see how these animals had survived
because of their "survival of the fittest" that kept them a strong
species.
And yet, this strong instinct forced the old leader into fighting
to the death, even though he might have fled into the forest and
lived out his life in peace.
Humans are no different, except in one important way. Driven by
our "survival of the fittest" instinct, we have set in place an
artificial standard of what we consider to be the Standard for a
Strong Species.
Possession is put in place of Strength. I could wax long and loud
about this wrong turn in the Survival Road, but suffice it to say
that we now see at the top of our People, a weak blubbery, self
focused creature. Or maybe we see something even worse. Donald
Trump.
Carl Jarvis
On 6/19/17, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I used to think that being blind was what allowed me to identify
with members of other minority groups. Perhaps it did. But the
differences between being blind and being a Palestinian in
Israel/Palestine or being Black in America, are just too great.
We, the blind, aren't hated and reviled. Cops don't feel
endangered by blind men and shoot them. We're not incarcerated.
I am, here in my apartment building, socially isolated. But if
anyone chooses to relate to me when they see me in the lobby or
the elevator, it is to offer help. It's a very different dynamic.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl
Jarvis
Sent: Monday, June 19, 2017 11:42 AM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Palestinian Center for Human Rights:
Gaza
There are no words for such heartless, cruel, cold behavior.
It's hard to wrap my head around what life is...or in the case of
the mother, was, like under this constant surveillance.
To a greater or lesser degree I can "feel" what it must be like
to be a racial or religious minority in America. Despite the
"Free Pass" of Whiteness, I am still a member of a small, ignored
minority. While being blind has some distinct advantages over
being Black, Brown or a Muslim, we blind people are faced with
misunderstanding and ignorance, and often mean spiritness. At
least enough for us to "understand"
some of what other minorities face. But to live under constant
threat of death from a distance? To go about doing what must be
done to survive? To never know, when going to bed at night, if
morning will find your house and family still "safe"? To be
bullied with no one to turn to? And worst of all, to have no way
out! Even this old blind man can dream of better days.
But to have absolutely no Light at the End of the Tunnel? To not
even have a Tunnel.
We Humans are such a contradiction. We can sore, like angels,
to the heights of compassion, and turn right around and become
more cruel than all of the Demons waiting to embrace us in Hell.
Carl Jarvis
On 6/19/17, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Life under Siege: Indiscriminate killing of farmers
Date: 18/06/2017
"Our life has turned upside down since my mother's death. With
her passing, we lost the backbone of the house." Hani Salem
Elomor is a married father of
3 children and resident of El Elfokhari neighborhood, Khan
Younis, whose mother Zeina was killed by the Israeli occupation
forces in
2016 when she was working on the family's farmland.
The tree was planted by Zeina's family where she was killed by
the Israeli occupation forces Zeina was solely responsible for
Hani and his six siblings and the family's income is based on
the
2 dunums of land they own and where they plant wheat, which is
located in Elfokhari neighborhood, about 350 meters from the
borderline line with Israel. Supposedly, the farmland is outside
of the buffer zone implemented by the Israeli occupation forces,
stretching from the Israeli border 300 meters into the Gaza
Strip. The buffer zone is an area prohibited to Palestinians,
which is illegal under both Israeli and international law.
According to the United Nations Office for the Coordination of
Human Affairs (OCHA), the buffer zone takes up 17 percent of
Gaza's total land, making up to 35 percent of available farmland
unsafe for Palestinians to use, with the areas nearest the
border fence being the most restricted. It is harshly affecting
the livelihood of tens of thousands of Gaza farmers, who rely
heavily on agriculture to provide for their families.
In addition, the Israeli occupation forces regularly enforce the
buffer zone and nearby areas with live fire, which is what Zeina
became a victim of.
In the evening of 05 May 2016, Hani received a phone call from
his brother Monzer, who informed him that their mother got
wounded from a shell by the occupation forces and that she was
on her way to the Gaza European hospital.
"I immediately rushed to the hospital and when I arrived there,
I could see my family members getting into the emergency room. I
followed them and saw my mother's dead body lying on one of the
beds with her face covered.
Unconsciously, I uncovered her face and saw the blood covering
her neck, shoulder, and right hand. The doctors informed me that
she was killed on the spot by the Israelis", Hani tells in vain.
Zeina was collecting hay on her farmland and filling it into
bags to move it to the house, when the occupation forces fired a
rocket at her, as her relatives that accompanied her tell. In
the place of the incident there were a number of other farmers
working on their farmlands. The area is very flat, the sight is
obvious, and the attack happened during day time, which is a
clear evidence for the arbitrariness of the killing. "There is
an Israeli military tower east of the land, about 350 meters
away, so the occupation forces could see with their bare eyes
that my mother was a civilian, working on her land to provide
her family with an income. They shot her for no reason", Hani
emphasizes.
"Ever since the end of the latest war on Gaza, Israel allowed
farmers to cultivate this zone using short crops that do not
grow higher than 80 centimeters, such as wheat and barley, as it
forbids them from establishing greenhouses or buildings there",
Hani highlights.
Enforcing the buffer zone by means of live fire constitutes a
war crime, as codified in the Fourth Geneva Convention and the
Rome Statute, prohibiting the targeting and severe injuring or
killing of a civilian or protected person. However, Israeli
troops typically enforce the buffer zone with live fire which
often results in, inter alia, the direct targeting of civilians
and/or indiscriminate attacks.
Furthermore, preventing Palestinians from access to their land
is a violation of numerous provisions of international human
rights law, including the right to work, the right to the
highest attainable standard of living, and the right to the
highest attainable standard of health. Accordingly, the PCHR has
filed a letter requesting the military advocate general to open
an investigation into the incident on 30 May, 2016. A reminder
was sent on 26 April, 2017 regarding the complaint and PCHR
received a response that the incident is under treatment by the
Israeli military prosecution for operational affairs.
"A year later, day by day we still go to our land and work the
same way as if our mother was still among us. The occupation
forces tried to frighten us several times, but they will not
succeed and we will never give up our land.
It belongs to us and we will not lose our sole source of
income", Hani emphasizes. "Until today, we don't know the
reason why she was killed; my mother was killed for nothing. We
hope for accountability, even though it has been a year since
the incident happened and no progress has been made in the case."
Public Document
**************************************
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please call PCHR office in Gaza, Gaza Strip, on +972 8
2824776 - 2825893
PCHR, 29 Omer El Mukhtar St., El Remal, PO Box 1328 Gaza, Gaza
Strip.
E-mail: pchr@xxxxxxxxxxxx, Webpage http://www.pchrgaza.org
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