And church. <sigh> Don't even get me started on that. I had a DBS counselor
in FL suggest I attend church to find readers because I was having problems finding
someone to read the 50 plus pages of a work/interest survey they wanted me to fill
out. I found out later that giving people this type of busy work was this
counselor's idea of testing them to see how resourceful they could be.
Lisa Belville
missktlab1217@xxxxxxxxxxxx
On 1/24/2018 7:30 PM, Carl Jarvis wrote:
All true, Miriam, all true.
And one of the reasons I would avoid living in a retirement or
assisted living facility is this fake busywork. When possible, we try
connecting clients to activities that are of value to them. But more
and more we are finding people who had no outside interests. They
never read...forget the Talking Books, they never involved themselves
in politics...they don't want to offend anyone, they either have no
family or they drove them all away...boohoo, nobody loves me because
they are too busy to care.
We just met with a woman who turned 90 on January 22. She spent her
first thirty plus years in Japan. She and her daughter and son-in-law
thought if they all lived together they would provide the emotional
support to one another. But all her friends live two towns away.
Transportation is poor, and besides most of those friends belonged to
a hiking club. She can no longer hike. Not just because her
lessening vision makes her overly cautious, but her legs have become
weak. She is losing her hearing. She says she has no patience.
Three years ago we showed her how to use a CCTV that had been donated
to us. After a month her daughter said they had put the CCTV in the
garage because our client refused to practice using it.
I can tell how much more removed she has become in the three years
since we first met her. And, of course, her memory is also becoming a
serious problem.
But at 82, I have similar gaps, setting something down for just a
second and hearing Cathy say, "Did you mean to leave the coffee
canister on the counter with its lid off?" Cute! And Cathy's mother
is the Pinup Queen of the accusers. "Someone came into my apartment
and took one of my candle sticks". And don't try reasoning with her,
because she then decides it has to be Marlene, her eldest daughter.
She has ants sneaking under her covers, biting her. Don't try to
suggest that it is a rash, and the doctor gave her a cream to clear it
up, because "that cream makes me sick". Dorothy does not answer her
phone most of the time. And she can no longer press the keys that
bring up her saved messages. But she believes that people have
abandoned her.
Blindness most certainly makes life more difficult, but it is not the
trump card. When I was 30, I could mow the lawn after work, I could
weed the flower beds and truck garden. When we moved to our present
home I could take my brush ax and clear the brush along the sides of
our quarter mile road. I could pull down and buck up fallen logs,
splitting and stacking them for fire wood. And I was totally blind.
And today, at 82...soon to be 83, I am still totally blind. But even
though my eyesight has not varied for over 52 years, I can do very few
of those above mentioned tasks.
Now I'll take my Flu ridden body back to my sick sick sick bed.
Carl Jarvis
On 1/24/18, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I have to say that I'm introverted and solitary, and one of the several
reasons that I would not like living in an assisted living facility would be
the subtle, or not so subtle pressures, to participate in the various
organized activities that are offered. I suppose that senior citizens'
centers are built on this same idea which is as follows. Old people need to
be kept busy and acdtive because they don't work anymore and they don't have
real lives with a real purpose. So we will set up these actdivities and
classes, and all of this will keep their minds stimulated and take their
minds off the unpleasant realities of bodies that are falling apart and
moving toward death. Some people respond very well to having their lives
organized for them. I don't. I've also learned that as intelligent as I am
and as active as I keep my mind, the aging process will have its way because
it is a progressive physical process. So along with short term memory loss,
unexplained phenomena occur. On Saturday, Melanie handed me a card which
she got back from the desk in the lobby after returning the shopping cart to
the security guard. I remember taking the card, putting it in the envelope
where I keep it, and putting it back in the drawer where I keep it. I have a
clear memory of doing that. But the envelope isn't there, nor is it in the
other drawers in that chest of drawers, nor in my pocket book where I looked
to see if I'd put it there in error. You've heard stories about old people
accusing their relatives or aides or whoever, of stealing things from them?
That's because they do things like I did last Saturday, and they can't
believe it. And now for why blindness is more than an inconvenience. If
you're elderly and you become forgetful, but you have normal eyesight, you
have visual cues to remind youf of some of the things that may slip your
mind. Blind folks depend a great deal on memory. But if you're blind and
forgetful, those two disabilities intersect so that you are more dependent
than a sighted person would be.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl Jarvis
Sent: Wednesday, January 24, 2018 12:10 PM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Moving
Miriam,
Cathy and I visit folks in some very fine retirement and assisted living
apartments. Both Cathy and I have decent government pensions, along with
our social security checks. We could afford to live in some of the less
expensive buildings...as long as we still worked!
Probably by selling our house and ten acres, as well as our large lot at
Kala Point, we could supplement our income enough to spend *My last years,
but Cathy is a mere 65, and when I died and my income were dropped, she
would need to look at low income living. Of course I plan to live to be at
least 100, which means Cathy will be a mere 83, and probably our reserve
money would have run out. Of course if I don't feel any better than I feel
today, 100 looks to be a far too ambitious goal. I think we have picked up
a Flu Bug. Last Friday we visited a couple of clients in one of those Up
Scale Retirement Apartments, and as soon as we entered two young ladies came
rushing out from behind the counter, telling us we might not want to see
anyone, since the building was riddled with Flu Bugs. The other lady
sprayed our hands with some bug killer, but seemed confused when I asked if
they provided masks. But we've seen in past years during Flu Season that
when the residents dine together, all it takes is one person hacking away
as they touch everything around them, and Lo and Behold, the entire place
becomes an infirmary.
And it seems that no matter which strains of Flu the vaccination protects
against, it's not the one that erupts among the elderly residents.
Actually, while being blind does have an impact on social activities in such
residents, the real curse is Aging. Blind or sighted, folks creep slower
and slower about the building. They get worn out just walking to the dining
room. And social activities interfere with their nap time.
We began several support groups over the past 23 years, but only one still
functions. We began book clubs, where anyone who wanted to be read to could
join once or twice a week and listen to a few chapters of a Talking Book.
The list goes on, but vision loss was not the final clincher. It was age,
every time. The first time a 90 year old client said, "Entertainment? What
do I do? Well, I like to sit here and remember!" I used to chuckle about
that. I remember saying, "Yes, but don't you want some new stuff to be able
to remember?" She didn't respond. We decided that she could meet new
residents with a gift basket that the building presented folks, and chat
with them and make them feel welcome. She liked the idea, and I understand
that she actually did it...twice. After the second new resident had been
royally welcomed, she told the activity director that she was just too worn
out to do it anymore.
Well, it's 9:00 A.M. and I think I need to reschedule a couple of
clients...and then go back to bed.
Carl Jarvis
On 1/24/18, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Carl, Thanks. I'm still here. I may not be disconnected until early
Friday morning but don't know when or if the computer will ever be the
same again.
Nothing about my life will be the same again, however. This is, shall
we say, the financially disadvantaged old blind woman's version of
assisted living. Had I been a government employee for 30 or more years
with an old fashioned pension and social security, maybe I'd be living
at the lovely life care community out east or at a plushy assisted
living facility. Of course, being blind, I'm not sure I'd ever have
been easily socially integrated into that social milieu. The older
folks in my apartment building have never been able to integrate me
into their social interaction. At 80 years of age, I'm here to tell
all those NFB types that blindness is more than an inconvenience. It
has profound affects on every part of life at every age.
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
[mailto:blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx] On Behalf Of Carl Jarvis
Sent: Wednesday, January 24, 2018 10:12 AM
To: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Moving
Good morning Miriam. I'm tucking my best thoughts inside your
suitcase just to make certain your transition is a smooth one. I
don't know about you, but I get really grumpy when my normal routine
is disrupted. But it sounded from some of your past posts that change was
necessary.
Still, any time you are away from the list, you will be missed. But
don't rush to get back on, since the world will still be going to Hell
in a Hand basket with or without you being on Blind Democracy.
Anyway, see you on the other side...the other side of your move, that is.
Carl Jarvis
On 1/24/18, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I'm moving to a new address on Friday. I'm not sure when I'm going
off list and when I'll be back on again, but I thought I'd let all of
you know this, before I forget to do so in the rush of last minute
details and anxiety.
Miriam
