Okay Roger, you got my curiosity. How do you tell that joke without
ducks? Gophers?
My wife was golfing with her brother and she hit a long drive.
Suddenly a little bird stuck its head up just as the ball shot toward
it. The ball smacked the bird. Oh no!" she cried. "I hit that
bird". But the bird jumped up and stood there. "Thank heaven I
didn't seem to hurt it", Cathy said. Just at that moment the bird
flopped over. Dead.
Carl Jarvis
On 6/26/15, Roger Loran Bailey <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
I have heard this before, but the version I heard was much simpler and
without ducks.
On 6/26/2015 11:48 AM, R. E. Driscoll Sr wrote:
*Subject:* Ducks
Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven.
Upon arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever
seen. St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the
course, but
he cautions them that there is only one rule: Don’t hit the ducks in your
first three months here.
The men all have blank expressions, and finally one of them asks, “The
ducks?”
“Yes”, St. Peter replies, “There are millions of ducks walking around the
course and if one gets hit, he quacks then the one next to him quacks and
soon they’re all quacking to beat the band and it really breaks the
tranquility. If you hit the ducks, you’ll be punished, otherwise
everything
is yours to enjoy.”
Upon entering the course, the men noted that there were indeed large
numbers of ducks everywhere. Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys
hit a duck. Theduck quacked, the one next to it quacked and soon there
was a deafening roarof duck quacks.
St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and asks,
“Who hit the duck?”
The guy who had done it admitted, “I did.”
St. Peter immediately pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the man’s
right hand to the homely woman’s left hand. “I told you not to hit the
ducks,”, he said. Now you’ll be handcuffed together for eternity.”
The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a
couple of
weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were as
deafening as
before and within minutes St. Peter walked up with an even uglier woman.
St.Peter cuffed the man’s right hand to the homely woman’s left hand.
“I told you not to hit the ducks,” he said; “Now you’ll be handcuffed
together for eternity.”
The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn’t even move for
fear of even nudging a duck. After three months of this he still
hadn’t hit
a duck. St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of the three months and
had with him a knock-out gorgeous woman, the most beautiful woman the man
had ever seen. St. Peter smiled to the man and then, without a word,
handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked off.
The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for
eternity, let
out a contented sigh and wondered aloud,
“I wonder what I did to deserve this?”
The woman responds, “I don’t know about you, but I hit a duck.”
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