I think the Lions Club has a reputation like that pretty much all over.
One would think that after all the time they have had blindness as their
cause they would have learned something by now.
---
Christopher Hitchens
“ What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.
”
― Christopher Hitchens,
On 4/22/2019 10:37 AM, Carl Jarvis wrote:
Good Earth Day, Miriam.
Somewhere I had the idea that you'd booked tours with Evergreen Tours
for the blind. They were headquartered here in the Puget Sound
area...maybe Everett? and initially they had a pretty good
reputation. But several folks I know, told me that they would never
sign up for another trip, because of the condescending treatment.
The Lion's club in Everett put on an annual Fishing Derby for the
Blind. When I heard that each blind person had their own "care taker"
who guided them so they would not fall overboard, seated them on the
deck, baited their hook and even took over reeling in the fish, I
never wanted to be treated in such a manner. Now I know that for some
blind people who have been very sheltered, that this might be the only
way they would ever come close to actually fishing, but these
do-gooders treated all the blind the same way.
This was also the habit of the Rainier Lions. Each year between
Thanksgiving and Christmas they held a "Holiday Dinner for the Blind".
A friend of mine talked me into going to one of these dinners, "just
to see what they did". He owned his own business, and he and his wife
also owned a string of rental houses in the Valley. They could afford
to buy the best dinner in Seattle, but every year they took advantage
of the "freebees".
I went...once...and was grabbed at the door by a kindly elderly Lion,
shoved into a folding chair, and told that after the prayer we would
have our plates brought out to us. And so it was. The food was all
cut up in neat little bite sized pieces. I had only a spoon. When I
was told that dessert would be coming right along, I asked if they cut
it up in the kitchen, too. The kindly man thought I was serious, and
he went and asked.
Not to be outdone, the Seattle Lions held a monthly "Round Up". They
picked up the blind folks and took them to the Community Services for
the Blind Center on Queen Anne Hill, where dinner was served and
volunteer entertainment was performed. CSB had the same custodial
attitude, and I never had the desire to get rounded up.
Many of the older blind folks believed that these dinners and derby's
were small compesation for their blindness. And they passed this
attitude along to newly blind members in the Organization.
I recall taking a group of students from the training center on a
field trip to the Underground Tour. Tickets cost $4 per person, but
only $2 for Seniors and disabled. Some of the students felt that this
was only fair, because after all, they were blind and couldn't see
what was around them. I said that we each took the same space whether
we were blind or sighted, and we should insist on paying the full fare
if we ever wanted to be treated equal. I led the group to the ticket
window and fought with the woman, finally getting her to tajke my $4.
I think she charged the rest of the group $2, because she never said a
word to alny of them.
Interestingly, those tours were fabulous, as long as you had a
creative tour guide. The fun was in the description, because blind or
sighted the underground tunnels were so dimly lit that there was
little to actually see. But right off, our snappy young guide said,
"Don't straggle, the rats are as big as hogs...and hungry".
Over the years I think there has been some improvement regarding
attitudes toward the abilities of us blind folk. But I often wonder
if the attitudes have actually changed, or if the sighted public has
just become better at hiding them. I think of this when I see the
reemergence of the hatred and fear toward Blacks. All of our advances
in Race relations over the years have been derailed by one
contemptible president and his band of bigots.
I was going to ramble along on the subject of growing up as a Working
Class boy in an upper middle class neighborhood, but I'll save it for
another day.
Carl Jarvis
On 4/21/19, Miriam Vieni <miriamvieni@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Carl,
When I read your story about that long ago date, it reminded me of a rather
unpleasant experience that I had. I read your message and thought, "class
differences", and then I remembered this trip to France that I took. There
was a woman, a travel agent, who had arranged a few trips for blind people.
I'd been on several of her trips. She was very wealthy. I think that her
husband had died by the time that I knew her. The trips that she arranged
for blind travelers were relatively inexpensive, but she was accustomed to a
very different kind of life. Her clothes were simple, but very expensive.
She was kind and down-to-earth. I wanted to see France. She agreed to
accompany me as a sighted guide if I paid her passage, and she chose a very
nice tour. Now she had accompanied Art and me on a very nice English tour,
but apparently, the people who went on that company's tours, (it was called
Tauck), although they had money, they tended to be very different from the
people who patronized the company that did the French tour. These people
were, however, the kind of people with whom Lois, my guide, was very
comfortable. So the tour was lovely. The food was amazing. Lois had a lot in
common with the other people on the tour. But although they were polite to
me, they were distant. They didn't usually eat with us. I felt very much
like this weird person, an outcast, someone who was socially unacceptable, a
child to whom people would be kind and over whom they would watch. Now I was
on other sighted tours, the English one, one Tauck tour to Italy with my
friends, and one Tauck tour to China with a different sighted person acting
as a guide, and I never felt that way on those other tours. And believe me,
especially on that China tour, all those people had lots more money than I.
I would have liked to return to France, under different circumstances. Of
course, I can tell stories about the tours for blind people and how
uncomfortable I felt about the way in which the sighted guides on those
tours treated us and about the attitudes of the people who arranged the
tours. I am, perhaps, over sensitive. But I was, after all, a paying
customer. A long time ago, I had a job as a dishwasher, in a summer camp for
blind adults. I may have talked on this list about some of my experiences at
that camp, or possibly, it was a different list. Anyway, the camp director
had very good relationships with the wealthy people who owned beach houses
near the camp. I was in a boat with a group of campers, driven by the
assistant director, past some of those summer beach houses one day. Mary
turned off the motor so she could wave to the people on the beach and chat
with them. And I remember one of the women saying to her, out loud, so all
of us could hear. "Mary it's just so wonderful how you take care of them". I
was about seventeen at the time. When we left the area, I said something to
Mary about that, something to the effect that it was thoughtless of that
woman to talk to her as if we weren't there and couldn't hear, and as if
everyone of us was helpless. And she answered, "Just be grateful that
they're kind and contribute money to the camp. If we were in Nazi Germany,
you'd all have been gased".
Miriam,
Miriam
-----Original Message-----
From: blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
<blind-democracy-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> On Behalf Of Carl Jarvis
Sent: Sunday, April 21, 2019 4:29 PM
To: Roger Loran Bailey <rogerbailey81@xxxxxxx>
Cc: blind-democracy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [blind-democracy] Re: Another cultural misunderstanding
Roger,
In my defense, I was only 22 at the time, and easily intimidated by pretty
girls. There are many things I would do differently if I only knew then
what I know now.
Funny thing, this life. We live a long time and end up knowing all the
things we should have known at the front end of life. But by the time we
get it all figured out...we are usually far too feeble to put it to any good
use.
Carl Jarvis
On 4/21/19, Roger Loran Bailey <rogerbailey81@xxxxxxx> wrote:
I think I would have told her that I was booked solid for the next
twenty-five years before she got a chance to tell me.
---
Christopher Hitchens
“ What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without
evidence. ”
― Christopher Hitchens,
On 4/21/2019 11:21 AM, Carl Jarvis wrote:
Interesting. It would appear that all of a culture's practices had
a practical origin. We accept them because it's expected of us.
Like shaking hands. The practice of showing no weapons was done by
grasping the other person's dominant hand with your dominant hand,
normally the right hand. Today we nod when we are introduced to
someone of a higher station or position. That nod came from a full
bow from the waist. The full bow came from a custom of dropping to
the knees and prostrating before the superior person, usually
stretching the arms out in front and touching the forehead to the
ground, with the rear end high in the air. This show of
"respect"/submission, came from an ancient time when the superior man
mounted the backside of his "inferior". Think of that the next time
you give a nod of respect or drop your eyes when meeting a person of
higher status.
Back in the late 50's I dated a very attractive young woman of
obvious superior status. I know this because she eventually told me
so...as she bid me farewell.
We agreed to meet after work in downtown Seattle, and we began to
walk to a local restaurant. She stopped abruptly and said,
"Gentlemen walk on the outside". She was referring to the fact that
I was setting out on the side closest to the buildings, leaving her
to walk next to the traffic...although the curb lane was full of parked
cars.
I exchanged sides, but explained that she was more apt to be struck
by something falling from an open window, than by a parked car. "Well,"
she then said, "It's still a matter of respect". I recall that our
dinner included a fat fried chicken thigh. As I began to reach for
my chicken thigh, to pick it up and chomp down, as we Jarvis' were
wont to do, she picked up her knife and fork and began cutting off
little tiny bites. And so, following suit, I proceeded to do the
same, butchering that poor defenseless piece of chicken all over the
table and my pants and the floor.
Being visually impaired, I had fully intended to take my date home on
the local bus. But after noting her "refined ways", I decided I'd
better spring for a cab. We walked up to her door and I put my arm
around her...another wonderful custom, and bent toward her lips,
anticipating that magical moment. She turned her cheek at the last
moment and placed the palms of her hands on my chest, pushing me
backward. This was another ancient custom that signaled to all
gentlemen that a second date was probably not in the cards. But I
sucked in a deep breath and lied, telling her that I'd had a
wonderful time, and would she care to do this again. She assured me
that she was booked solid for the next 25 years, and besides, I gave
new meaning to the old adage, Diamond in the Rough.
But I see that once again I've wandered off the subject.
Carl Jarvis
On 4/20/19, Roger Loran Bailey <dmarc-noreply@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
Thinking about this habit of Africans asking for gifts as a way to
show you honor, I just thought of another example that is similar.
That is, it is similar in that it involves making gifts. I think I
read this in an anthropology text book too. There was a certain
tribe of native Americans. I forget which one. To honor you and to
show good will it was their practice to make a gift to you that they
had no intention that you would keep. It was just to show
friendliness and good will. Then soon after giving you the gift they
would ask for it back. People from a white European culture did not
necessarily understand this. If you were to say, no, you gave it to
me and I'm keeping it, the giver would be highly offended. The same
white Europeans would also be confused if they offered a gift and it
was accepted and then the native American who had received the gift
turned around and gave it back. I understand that this is where the
phrase Indian giver came from. But can you imagine the confusion that
this example of culture shock caused?
--
---
Christopher Hitchens
“ What can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed
without evidence. ”
― Christopher Hitchens,
