I'm forwarding this from Amy, temporarily off list. She answered me when I mentioned what our recent onlist discussions were about and gave me permission to post her and her friends experiences. > >> Among my blind friends the stupid question that > gets > >> most of them is "how do you make love?". My one > >> friend asks, in reply, "Do you always make love > with > >> the lights on?" The other answer I like is > >> "beautifully". > >> > >> I have had to use the wheelchair or, ealier, the > 3 -wheel "putt-putt" (my name) for many years and > have gotten equally stupid questions or presumptuous > >> ones. Children can ask me anything and I don't > mind because they really want to know. They don't understand about things like white canes, seeing > eye dogs, wheelchairs, etc. > >> > >> However, when someone rudely asks my why I am in > >> "that", my answer, stolen from a good friend, is > >> "Everyone has to be somewhere." Many years ago I > >> had to wear a neck collar as well as using a cane > >> and one of the other Grad students asked me about > >> the collar and I answered that my neck had > >> disappeared and I was hiding the hole. I also > >> explained the cane as a defensive weapon to > control > >> my overly-ardent suitors. Stupidity and rudeness > >> don't deserve polite answers. The grad student > not > >> so subtly suggested that I used the cane to get > >> sympathy. > >> > >> People react towards the accutrements of > disability > >> in many ways but the initial reaction is one that > >> few realize that rhey have had and those who > may > >> try to deny it even to themselves. The normal > and > >> completely understandable reaction to the signs > of > >> disability is a "thank God it's not me" but that > is > >> so repulsive to most people that it sllides off > into > >> the sub-conscious before they have to deal with > it. > >> There really should be no guilt in the reaction > but > >> it is there. If we did not feel grateful that it > is > >> "not me" there really would be something wrong > with us.- note I include myself. I would not want > to be totally blind or deaf or even more disabled > than I am. I am grateful not to be what I see but that > >> does not mean I don't sympathise with those who > are. > >> But I think those who ask the most stupid > questions > >> are doing so from a sense of quilt of which they > are > >> totally unaware. That does not mean I have to > >> sympathise with their stupidity. > >> > >> Sorry. You caught me on one of my pet peeves. I > was > >> sick as a child and in a wheelchair - briefly > >> (Polio) and had as many stupid questions and > >> comments then to last me a lifetime without > >> understanding the basis for them. Understanding > does > >> not necessarily <obviously> make me more > accepting. > >> > >> > >> Amy > > > > > > > > > > > ____________________________________________________________________________________ > > Do you Yahoo!? > > Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail > beta. > > http://new.mail.yahoo.com > > > > ____________________________________________________________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail beta. http://new.mail.yahoo.com To unsubscribe from this list send a blank Email to bksvol-discuss-request@xxxxxxxxxxxxx put the word 'unsubscribe' by itself in the subject line. To get a list of available commands, put the word 'help' by itself in the subject line.