[adeel420] Re: Question to do with freelists

  • From: Mohammed Shaqeel <mshaqeel@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: adeel420@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Sun, 17 Nov 2002 02:40:52 +0000 (GMT)

roflrofl man k man they can get me if they want. man I
found this interesting article on the nett. look at
the end there's someone callded randle that comes in
it.

True History Of The Net
[Key Players and Terms identified at end]

First there was God. He was quite lonely so he created
Dennis.

Dennis was unimpressed with God.

So,... God created Brian.

But, Brian got bored with God.

So Brian and Dennis started playing, and they created
C. God saw C, and saw that it was good. So he decided
to let Brian and Dennis play some more.

Then Brian and Dennis created Unix. God saw Unix, and
he was jealous. So he created Bill to torment Brian
and Dennis and obscure their creation (for God
could not destroy Unix, for he secretly admired its
perfection).

So Bill created Microsoft. And Microsoft created
Windows. And God saw that it was bad, but it had
market share, so he was happy. Then Bill got cocky,
and
his ego got bigger than God's. So to knock Bill down a
couple of pegs, God put into effect, a wondrous plan.

First God created Tim. And Tim created the World Wide
Web (using Unix, of course). This was good, but not
THAT good. So God created Marc. Marc created Mosaic
(using Unix, of course). Mosaic created a huge feeding
frenzy that has cost a lot of people who are reading
this their jobs.

But that's a different story. Mosaic was good, and God
saw it was good, so he allowed Marc to start Netscape.
Back to this later.

But all this time Brian and Dennis started to make
something better than Unix called Plan 9 (because God
was successful in foiling Brian and Dennis' previous
seven plans [there was no Plan 8 because Brian and
Dennis pulled the wool over God's eyes and just jumped
to Plan 9, which was too bright a move for even
God to figure out.] )

Eventually, God figured out how to create Larry.

No one knows how or why he created Larry, except
perhaps to reduce productivity at the Jet Propulsion
Labs at NASA. [Rumors are that God created Larry
because
he secretly liked what Dennis and Brian had done with
C, but didn't think C and Unix was enough -- this
probably isn't true because God believed he had
destroyed Brian and Dennis' plans by destroying Plans
1-7, and by creating Microsoft to slay their beloved
Unix.

Anyhow, Larry created Perl (using Unix and C, of
course), and God saw it was good, so he made Randal.
Larry and Randal wrote books about Perl. And everyone
saw that this was good, except snobs who were too much
into C, Windows, and Intel.

One day God and the angels were discussing all this,
and in walks an Intel lawyer. God asked him, "Where
have you been?" and the lawyer said, "Cruising
the Net". God thought he would cut the Intel lawyer
down a peg, so he said, "You must have seen my
faithful servant, Randal. What do you think? Books,
courses, free advice on the news group, the guy never
stops." But Intel's lawyer said to God, "Big deal,
what with all the money from royalties, consulting,
courses, etc., no wonder he's such a boy scout. Take
it away, and he'll give up, curse you and stop telling
bad jokes."

This was too much for God. "No way!", he said. "Go
take all Randal has, but let him keep teaching courses
as long as he tells those great jokes. I love
his jokes." (Randal's jokes are a big hit with God and
all the angels. On earth folks think they're bad. In
Heaven they say you had to be there.) So the
Intel lawyer had the Oregon D.A. take every penny
Randal makes that isn't necessary to keep him teaching
courses. And that is why Randal tells bad jokes
as if his life depended on it.

The Intel lawyer told the D.A. and everyone else that
the reason Randal was being punished was because he
sinned against God by breaking into Intel. And
many repeat the story told by the Intel lawyer even
unto this day.

Anyhow, back to Randal. So Randal and Larry wrote
books, but they had to be nice because of the people
they worked for. So then came Tom. But back to Tom
later.

Anyhow, God saw Netscape (made using Unix and C, of
course), and he saw it was good, and that annoyed Bill
quite a bit. And that made Him very happy, and
made Marc very rich. But Bill was already very very
rich. But that's a completely different story.

But as good as Larry's creation, Perl, was, it
couldn't do everything, so God created Scott. Scott
announced Java, and this was big news. Now Java really
pissed Bill off, because Bill also created Blackbird,
and Java killed Blackbird. This was bad because
killing Blackbird also meant killing the Microsoft
Network. And many rejoiced over that, but that, too is
another story.

Now Java, obviously had done much to annoy Bill. For
Java was so good that Bill had to license Java. All
this time, Scott poked lots of fun at Bill because
Sun, which was where Scott worked, made a better OS,
derived -- of course -- from Unix, which was better
than Bill's and Microsoft's Windows.

Anyhow, even God's creations Steve and Steve who
created Apple couldn't make Bill license the much
superior MacOS. But finally, Bill had to license Java.
So justice was served, and Bill's ego was served him
on a platter for him to eat his words. Or something.
That part is unclear.

So by this time Windows and Microsoft and Bill in
general really sucked. Especially considering the
advantages that Brian and Dennis' C and Unix, running
Marc's Netscape and Mosaic over Tim's World Wide Web,
doing cool CGI stuff with Larry's Perl, which you
learned from Randal and Tom, and got to program
with Scott's Java.

And God realized he had put Bill down too far. So then
God made it so that Marc's Netscape and Mosaic could
run on Windows. We already know that Bill had
to license Java from Scott. We know that Bill missed
the boat for not beating Tim to the punch on the World
Wide Web. The last straw was for God to make
it possible for Larry's Perl to run on Bill's Windows.

So back to Tom. Tom was a Perl God. And God didn't
like this, but Tom's a God so there isn't much God
could do, so He couldn't stop Tom from saying things
like "install an operating system on your poor lonely
computer the way God and Dennis intended", and
"Espousing the eponymous /cgi-bin/perl.exe?FMH.pl
execution model is like reading a suicide note - three
days too late."

The moral to the story? God is fickle. That's why
Microsoft and Bill and Windows exists. Do what God
intended, install C, Unix, Mosaic/Netscape, Java, and
Perl on your system, and make Brian, Dennis, Larry,
Tim, Tom, Randal, Scott, and even Steve and Steve, I'm
sure, happy by doing so.

Oh yeah, Linus was cool too. He's the guy you thank
for being able to run all the cool stuff on your
crappy little Pee Cee. (anything with x86 on it, by
default, is crappy, no PERSONAL flames intended)

Glossary (courtesy, Dr. Priest, CITS):

Brian and Dennis -- of Kernighan and Ritchie Fame for
developing the "C" language at Bell laboratories. "The
C Programming Language" The "bible" for C programmers.

"C" -- came after "A" and "B" -- perhaps the most
flexible and extensible language for programming

Bill -- Bill Gates (who else?)

Tim -- CERN's Tim Berners-Lee, inventor of HTML and
the web

Marc -- Marc Andraesson, developer of the graphical
browser at NCSA -- Mosaic, founder of Netscape

Larry -- Larry Wall, Associate with O'Reilly and
Associates (previously Unisys and Seagate)

Randal -- Randal Schwartz "Eclectic Tradesman and
Entrepreneur", Stonehenge Consulting Services,
previously, Tektronix, ServioLogic, Sequent

Larry and Randal -- Authors of "Programming Perl, 1st
edition"

Perl -- "Practical Extraction and Report Language"
sometimes referred to as "Pathologically Eclectic
Rubbish Lister"

Tom -- Tom Christiansen, Free-lance consultant,
previously with Convex

Larry, Randal, and Tom -- Authors of "Programming
Perl, 2nd Edition"

CGI -- "Common Gateway Interface", used for making web
pages interactive

Scott -- Scott McNealy, CEO of Sun Microsystems

Java -- locally run code on a PC, received, usually,
from a web site

Steve and Steve -- Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak,
co-founders of Apple Computer. Jobs went on to found
NeXT, which created NeXTstep, an object-oriented
Operating
System for various platforms. NeXT was later acquired
by Apple Computer. What's next? "The Woz" went on to
do other amazing and often legendary things.
 
k, chow,
Licenced To Chill

 --- Sean Randall
<Shwatscoff@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote: > 
> man you insulting me here?
> You may have just been saying whatever crap popped
> into your head like you
> always do, but I detected the faintest hint,
> tanjable  taste of perhaps a
> teeny weeny little insult?
> bad boy!
> Now the F B i, C I A, and s.h.hwat have to
> investigate you, mohamed.
> be ware, idiots are coming!
> ----- Original Message -----
> ---has been deleted---
> ---so suck my pop2 account---
> ---and the next time you  say I can't count i'll
> blow---
> ---blow your friggin head off---
> 
>  

=====


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