[24hoursupport] Testing Message 1

  • From: "Ron Allen" <chizotz@xxxxxxxxxxx>
  • To: 24hoursupport@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Thu, 18 Apr 2002 21:33:45 -0500

Sent at 9:33 pm

This is a test. This is only a test. Please ignore. Below is a large
message (joke from a couple years ago) for testing reasons.

There was once a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. For the sake of
this story, we'll call him Jack. After years
of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all
the UNIX programmers and Client/Server
programmers and C/C++ programmers and website developers, Jack was finally
getting some respect. He'd become a 
private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions. He was working
short-term assignments for prestige companies, 
traveling all over the world on different assignments. He was working 70
and 80 and even 90 hour weeks, but it was worth it. 

Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on
Jack. He had problems sleeping and began having
anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. It had reached a point where even the
thought of the year 2000 made him nearly
violent. He must have suffered some sort of breakdown, because all he could
think about was how he could avoid the year
2000 and all that came with it. 

Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a
deal to have himself frozen until March 15th,
2000. This was very expensive process and totally automated. He was
thrilled. The next thing he would know is he'd wake
up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer debacles;
after the leap day. Nothing else to worry
about except getting on with his life. 

He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive
date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to
a bare minimum, and that was that. 

The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room filled
with excited people. They were all shouting "I
can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were
cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that
looked like it came out of a science fiction movie. 

Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward.
Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "It is
over?" he asked. "Is 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and
promotions and crises all over and done with?" 

The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming
of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle,
it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years
later, not the year 2000. But the spokesman told
Jack that he shouldn't get excited; someone important wanted to speak to

Suddenly a wall-sized projection screen displayed the image of a man that
looked very much like Bill Gates. This man was
Prime Minister of Earth. He told Jack not to be upset. That this was a
wonderful time to be alive. That there was world
peace and no more starvation. That the space program had been reinstated
and there were colonies on the moon and on
Mars. That technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone had
virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to
contact anyone else on the planet, or to watch any entertainment, or to
hear any music recorded anywhere. 

"That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so
interested in me?" 

"Well," said the Prime Minister. "The year 10000 is just around the corner,
and it says in your files that you know COBOL."

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  • » [24hoursupport] Testing Message 1