[women_of_phoenix] Re: Fwd: ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION LETTER-----HILARIOUS!

  • From: Phyllis Eyre <pweyre@xxxxxxx>
  • To: women_of_phoenix@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Date: Mon, 18 Oct 2010 15:24:18 -0500

And I thought this only happened in the US!  Glad to know I am not alone.

On Mon, Oct 18, 2010 at 10:54 AM, Chris Curran <metoo_03465@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> Priceless!!! I so needed it as I had to call the post office this morning to
> be transfered 4 times to have someone tell me they couldn't verify if I had
> mail there unless I came down and showed them ID, even though they KNOW it's
> me.
>
> ________________________________
> From: Helen Knott <hiknott2@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> To: women_of_phoenix@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
> Sent: Mon, October 18, 2010 11:41:12 AM
> Subject: [women_of_phoenix] Fwd: ACTUAL PASSPORT APPLICATION
> LETTER-----HILARIOUS!
>
> This is So TRUE!!
>  WARNING - Contains a fair bit of foul language...if you can take it then
> read on, sympathise and have a laugh
>
> AN ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER SENT: how true this is from a UK paper
>
>
> Dear Sirs
> I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
> How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows
> that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977, and yet, the
> Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date?  For
> goodness sake, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my
> pension book, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past
> 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car
> insurance, AND on the last eight damn passports I've had, on all those
> stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed
> off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census
> forms.
>     Would some body please take note, once and for all, that my mother's
> name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-fucking-lutely
> astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
>     I apologise, I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you and me,
> I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then
> you ask me for my fucking address !!!!  What is going on? Do you have a gang
> of Neanderthal arseholes working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look
> like Bin Laden?  I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I
> just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would
> someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting
> a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to
> a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last fucking people I'd
> want to tell!
>     Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to the other end of the
> poxy city to get another fucking copy of my birth certificate, to the tune
> of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot
> to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooooooooooo,
> that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense.  You'd rather have us running
> all over the fucking place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have
> to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture -
> you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic fucking
> morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to?  Because
> we're totally pissed off!
> Signed  An Irate Citizen.
>     P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
> confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776
> ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have
> had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake
> highly secretive missions all over the world.  ......... However, I have to
> get someone 'important' to verify who I am  - you know, someone like my
> doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN FUCKING  PAKISTAN
> Sincerely,
> from You Sure The Hell Should Know
>

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