[win2kforum] Re: My life
- From: "Joshua M. Phillips" <josh@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- To: <win2kforum@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Thu, 10 May 2001 17:46:57 -0400 (EDT)
Could the moderator please kill this thread before it gets out of hand
(John Madden?). And if anybody objects to this I suggest reading the
freelists.org policy.
As for Mr. Shriner, it is clear that you need some help, but this is not
the place to get it. Your church, the counselors at your school, close
friends; that is where you need to be going for help on this issue. Hang
in there, buddy.
Josh
On Thu, 10 May 2001, Andrew L Shriner illustriously signified the following:
> (Please excuse any profanity this message may have. I'll try not to use it;
> but right now I'm mad at my parents.)
>
> There have been a LOT of people who have asked me what is going on in my
> life, showed support, etc. I love to chat about such things, but I don't have
> time to retype the exact same message over and over. Here's what's actually
> happening.
>
> I know that this message may seem redundant to some, since some know more
> about me than others, but this message is being sent to many people, and I
> don't have time to individually change the message.
>
> First of all, some of you know that I'm gay, and some of you don't. So there
> it is. If you don't like it, either unsubscribe from the mailing lists that I
> moderate, because I'm intolerant of homophobes, or adjust. Sorry to sound
> rude; homophobic people have really gotten on my nerves in the last few days.
>
> As I said, I'm gay, and my parents are extremely homophobic. My dad throws a
> fit and loses his temper if I so much as go to McDonald's, since they openly
> hire gays (or so he has said). Therefore, I can't tell my parents. I'm afraid
> for my life because I don't know what they would do if they did find out. My
> sister already told them of the rumors going around the school that I'm gay,
> and I denied it. I think that mom believed me, I'm not sure.
>
> My parents have been emotionally abusing me for almost 7 years. That's around
> the time that my uncle died and my mom started college again, and has since
> believed that she knows everything. Both of my parents make fun of me for
> everything I do and try to do. Nothing I do is right, according to them. My
> grades are slipping because I can't concentrate in school, I'm too concerned
> about home, etc. It's sort-of a catch 22. I can't remember when I last
> received a compliment from them. It's been ages.
>
> I just can't handle the situation by myself any more. I told a few teachers
> at the highschool, as well as a few friends that I trust. I haven't told that
> many people, though. One person, that I have not told, walked in the
> auditorium yesterday, and practically screamed "Looks like there's a faggot
> on the catwalk!!!" I ran over to the other side of the catwalk, but didn't
> see who it was. I have a good idea though. Had I gotten there in time, he may
> just have met a 200 pound 10 mirror reflection spotlight on it's way to the
> floor to greet him. (No, I wouldn't have done it, but it would be nice to
> give him the scare of his life. He doesn't realize how many daggers he is
> throwing each time he says that stuff.)
>
> Mom took my computer a few days ago, and locked it in her office. She then
> locks the office at night, so I can't use it while she's asleep. Sad thing;
> I'm very much more productive in the middle of the night for some reason.
> Last night, mom said that I wasn't going to have access to the computer at
> all tonight. By some devine intervention or something, the lock on the door
> failed to close. That's how I'm able to send this e-mail. While she was on
> her screaming streak last night, she also forbade me from ever helping the
> music department again. Simply put, like hell am I going to leave the
> department. The music department means the world to me. Sometimes, even more
> than computers do. I don't care how terrible my mom tries to make my life,
> she will fail. I don't care if I literally have to walk the 20 miles to the
> school, I will help the department, and I will be at every last damn music
> booster meeting. (Since this message is going to one of the music department
> directors, !
do NOT try to stop me from helping you or slow down the pace any. I WILL
continue to help, no matter what mom says!)
>
> I was about to commit suicide a couple of weeks ago, when I suddenly had the
> urge to call my best friend in Columbus. I didn't tell him what I was about
> to do, but his words calmed me down enough that I realized that I never want
> to do that. He also said that if I was ever in danger, to just call, and he'd
> help out any way possible ASAP. If I ever have that feeling again, I will
> call him or some other adult that I trust.
>
> I promised the technology director today that I would talk to one of the
> guidance counselors tomorrow. So now I just need to decide which one. I'm
> sure that they will try to get me professional help. It will probably hinder
> more than help, but oh well. I'm willing to try anything.
>
> I need to get going. If you have further questions, please ask them! I love
> to chat with people. (My contact info is somewhere in my signature lines
> below this message.) I just wanted to let everyone know this up front, so I
> didn't have to type everything over and over many times. Feel free to send me
> a message any time, I just don't know how soon I will get to it. I will
> actually have some online access, but not much. Just don't send anything time
> sensitive.
>
> Andrew
>
> -----
> "A true friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it
> back to you when you have forgotten the words."
>
> -----
> Andrew L Shriner
> Shriner Technology
> andrew@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> -----
> ICQ: 9284919
> AIM: shrinercomp
> Yahoo: shrinertech
> MSN: shrinercomp
>
> -----
>
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>
---
Joshua M. Phillips
Data Operations Engineer
ScoreBoard, Inc.
www.scoreboardinc.com
josh@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
work: 703-713-9755
direct: 703-713-9289
cell: 703-856-0380
fax: 703-713-9766
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