hahahahahahahahahahaha Maureen that was a good one.... Ridge and Buckley SD ----- Original Message ----- From: Maureen<mailto:maureensmusic@xxxxxxxxxxx> To: 'kitty hevener'<mailto:khevener@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Cc: Gary Lagerstedt<mailto:gclager@xxxxxxxxxxx> ; vi-clicker-trainers@xxxxxxxxxxxxx<mailto:vi-clicker-trainers@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> Sent: Monday, February 26, 2007 6:03 AM Subject: (VICT) Dogs and God To God from the dog Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another? Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch...or is it going to be the same old -stay-off-it story? Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around with its head out the window of a car? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'? Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog? Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans or cats understand? Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please. Dear God: When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to "sit up" to get in? Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize? Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember in order to be a good dog: 1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up. 2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, etc., just because I like the way they smell. 3. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food. 4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. 5. The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps. 6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff. 7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration. 9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. 10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.' 11. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house. 13. I will not throw up in the car. 14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt on the carpet. 15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over. 16. The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing. And, finally, my last question.... ... Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back? Maureen