[USS Tempest] "Qwirks 'n Fixins' Lt. PK Tomilson & Lt.Rosie Le Beau

"Qwirks 'n Fixins'
Lt. PK Tomilson & Lt. Rosie Le Beau 
  
 
 
 
 
When Rosie left Quark's, she smiling despite the fact that she'd just added  
a good amount of gossip to the Fleet rumor mill.  She didn't know what was  
bugging Captain Craig but at least it wasn't her.  And she liked Miranda,  too. 
 
She appreciated such a bright, forthright personality.  She  glanced down at 
her PADD as she left the bar then sighed.  Another repair  order and this time 
it was from Sick Bay.  That wasn't on the list  before, she grumbled 
mentally.  Captain's not going to be  happy.  That SOB Q had better not be 
behind this 
crap or I'll punch him in  his higher life form jaw.
 
She couldn't help but feel her mood lift as she stepped back onto Tempest.  
though.  My ship!  This is so great!  She stopped by Engineering  to pick up a 
standard repair kit before heading to Sick Bay.  She wandered  in and, not 
immediately seeing anyone, she called out.  "Engineering!   Anybody home?"
 
Over at the  replicator PK was still trying to get a glass of cold water. 
Unfortunately it  wasn't working and she was drenched from head to toe. "Damn 
machine, all I want  is a glass of water. Is that to much to ask?"
 
As she was fussing  with the derelict replicator she heard a voice. "I am 
over here by this stupid  replicator?" PK turned around, water dripping from 
her 
hair and looked at the  person who had entered. "I hope you are here to fix 
this idiotic machine as well  as the other contraptions around here? By the way 
my name is PK and yes it's  just PK and it doesn't stand for anything."
 
Rosie grinned and held up her kit.  "Engineering at your  service.  Rosie Le 
Beau, chief Engineer and fix it extraordinaire, at  your service.  And the 
Rosie stands for Rosemary but there are very few  people who call me that.  
I'll 
see what I can do about getting things in  some semblance of order but it's 
looking more and more like it's ship  wide."
 
Extending a hand, PK was  glad to see Rosie. "I'm so sorry to bother you if 
you have a great deal to do  but I have a great deal for you to do as well and 
it just isn't this stupid  replicator. My tricorders seem to think I am 
pregnant, Klingon and near death.  Now be honest with me, do I look like any of 
those things?" PK just had  to chuckle. Her sickbay was out to get her.
 
"On top of a recalcitrant  replicator, a confused tricorder, the biobeds 
claim they can't scan a patient  even though I am the patient on the bio bed. 
Now 
how ornery is that? If I  thought my handy saw would come in handy I would use 
it. I also need to  reprogram the EMH, but my luck it will turn out as a frog 
instead of what I what  it to be, which is a rather pleasant and 
knowledgeable female EMH. As you can  see you or we have our hands cut out for 
us. I would 
like the EMH reprogramed  before we launch. Can't stand those Mark V models"
 
"Well, no, you don't look like any of those things but that'd sure be  
interesting." Rosie chuckled in return.  She frowned as PK listed Sick  Bay's 
ailments.  "Now, that's just plain wrong.  The tricorders,  too?  They aren't 
even a 
part of the mainframe, not connected,  y'know?"
 
She pointed her own tricorder at the nearest biobed.  It seemed  to be 
alright..."Now, this says it's just fine but I believe you.  I  definitely 
believe 
you."  She hopped up on the bed and smiled at PK.   "What's it got to say about 
me?"
 
"Well, there is only one way  to find out. Computer scan patient on bio bed 
one." Here we go  again.
 
"Why not?"
 
"There is no patient on bio  bed one."
 
Okay, lets try the tricorder  and see what we get. Taking the tricorder PK 
ran a scan on Rosie and just  grinned at the results. "Unbelievable. Just plain 
unbelievable.
 
"Rosie, my engineer  friend, I don't know how to tell you this but, according 
to these results  you are a Ferengi with a fetish for Bajoran hasperat and 
you have Vulcan ears.  The better to hear with I'm sure. It's a conspiracy I 
tell you. This sickbay is  out to get me one way or another."
 
Out of habit, Rosie reached to touch her ears.  Nope..still normal  Human 
shaped.  I still wouldn't put it past Q...
 
 "Well, the hasperat might not be so bad but this girl's Cajun and  Southern 
by way of New York.  And I can't be a Ferengi woman because I'm  wearing 
clothes."  She gave PK a twisted smile. "It isn't just you,  Doc.  It's the 
whole 
ship.  Little things all over the place."
 
This was beginning to become  extremely exasperating. One couldn't even get a 
drink without getting a bath at  the same time, although that would be a time 
saver. How is one to do crew  physical's when nothing, nada, zip, zero 
appears to be working as it should  be?
 
"Rosie, I realize that most  people would rather cut off their left arm than 
visit sickbay, however they all  have to have their physicals. The captain has 
already had hers done, in which  case, I used my own personal tricorder. I 
know that sickbay is not a high  priority system like say engineering or the 
bridge or even the brig, but it is  my little lot in life, and it would be so 
nice if everything worked according to  specs. Do you think that there is a 
chance in hell of that ever happening in the  near future or at least before we 
return from the Gamma Quadrant?"
 
"Not a high priority?  You have it all wrong, Doc," Rosie said as she  hopped 
off the bed.  "I'm not leaving anybody last on purpose.  I take  this whole 
thing personally, all this nonsense about a new ship not  working.  This is my 
ship y'know.  I have to have a talk with the  captain."
 
Now she had offended the  engineer. "I meant no offense Rosie. I am sure that 
you take pride in your ship  and for that you should be commended. I simply 
meant that as a whole, in  order for the ship to launch, getting sickbay in 
working order was not a  high priority. It's kinda like the ship is "your" ship 
well, sickbay is "mine"  and I would like at some point to see it working. I am 
not putting a rush  on you to fix it, but sometime in this century would be 
nice."
 
Looking around at all the  shiny equipment PK sighed. "I don't actually have 
to have all this equipment to  do a physical, I could resort to 18th or 19th 
century technology, and use  something called a hypodermic needle, scalpels, 
leeches, poultices, as well as  other bizarre things. I'm not sure the crew 
would be too happy with this idea,  but it could be done."
 
PK looked at Rosie with a  very serious look, "there is however one thing 
that must be fixed immediately  and that is the replicator. I must have my 
daily 
dose of Diet Cherry Coke and I  don't want to have to barter with that troll 
Quartz or whatever his name  is."
 
"Sorry, Doc," Rosie said with an apologetic smile.  "I spent half the  
morning crawling all over this ship and then went to go see that little pervert 
 
you're talking about.  Had a lil 'discussion' with a certain person and  then 
got 
the captain's sister in trouble so it's just been one of those  days."
 
She rummaged through her kit and pulled out a small backup battery.   Popping 
it onto the side of the replicator, she looked up at PK.  "That's  an 
independent power supply.  If that doesn't work, I hear there's a nice  Bajoran 
place 
on station.  Go ahead--try it."
 
With much trepidation PK  walked over to the replicator and ordered one glass 
of water with ice. Instead  she was blasted with a shower of water and 
bombarded with bombs of ice. "What  were you saying about a Bajoran place? 
Maybe I 
will just go hide in my quarters  and pray no one gets sick or injured."
 
"Bajoran place right on the Promenade," Rosie said with a sigh.  "I  don't 
know how the food is but it looked a hell of a lot quieter and cleaner  than 
Quark's.  Personally, I suggest hiding under the covers right about  now."
 
Rosie sighed and shook her head.  It was going to be a long  night.

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