[tri-wings] Re: two months

On 11/25/06, Agnieszka Chojnowska <chojnowska.agnieszka@xxxxx> wrote:
> My dear Basia was born on September, 25. Today is olso 25...Today it would be 
> 2 months of her life, but she is already far away. How sad... I'am crying 
> although usually I can't cry when people are watching at me. My son and my 
> husband are here at home with me and I am so lonely...


Agnieszka,

I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to welcome you to the list.
Sometimes things happen and we are not able to participate like we
would like, but the wonderful thing about this list is that there is
always someone here to pick up the slack.

Your pain is all so fresh and raw, and you are experiencing a
whirlwind of emotions.   Just try to take things as them come and let
yourself go with the emoitions. Trying to fight them will only cause
more anguish later.The date game will always be there - eventually you
will quit marking it by the month and it will only be once a year.  Of
course there are plenty of "dates" that we each have, but as time goes
on the sharp jaggedness of that wound in our hearts begins to heal and
the memories of our child's softeness, innocense  and love out shine
the horror of these days that you are now experiencing.  I remember
feeling the "what was I doing" mode on every Saturday for a while,
then it was only on the "4" of the month and finally it just went to
the actual birthday.  I'm sure others have already told you that it's
that terrible word "time" that helps.  Not something that you can have
right now - and I hated it when people told me that, I'm not a patient
person, but they were right and evenutualy you too will be telling
someone else those same words.


If coming here helps with the loneliness that's great, but you might
also try talking to Basia - she hears you.  She will always be with
you, you may not know it now - but one day you will and there is a
feeling of peace then.

Bless you.
-- 
hugs,
Deanna~~~~
mom to Nicole 18, Jake 14, Jessica 4, ( in Heaven 05/04/02) and Rylee 3 .

meet Jessica @ http://home.mchsi.com/~warpehoski

"I live in my own little world.  But it's ok, they know me here!"
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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