[tri-wings] Re: trying to move on

Christine, 

You bring up a great point. It is very individual and there is no need to
rush yourself to a particular point. Related to that, I remember seeing my
grief counselor and talking about the fact that I felt bad for feeling
better. The guilt of starting to move on and find joy in things again was
making me feel more pain. On the one hand I wanted to feel better, but on
the other hand the only thing I had left of Emma was the pain and grief from
losing her. If I moved on from that, what would I have then? Wasn't I being
untrue to her memory and dishonoring her? 

I think that the grief counselor helped me to see that moving the severe
pain aside and working through that would clear the way for me to feel the
love much more strongly. It would also help me to find the "new" me. The
Bess that is now, not the Bess everyone else thought I would be and stop
trying to fit into something that was now the wrong size. 

I think Deanna is right too, finding something that you can be passionate
about, even if it is not related to your loss, really helps. You just never
know what is out there that you may love and be able to grow into. 
 
We are all individuals and our individual journeys through this process will
vary greatly. I am so glad that we all have each other to lean on. 

Bess

-----Original Message-----
From: tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx [mailto:tri-wings-bounce@xxxxxxxxxxxxx]
On Behalf Of caj24
Sent: Friday, July 13, 2007 10:12 AM
To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx; tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tri-wings] trying to move on

Dear Sophie,
I hear you.  I know where you're at.  I truly understand.  Your days are 
swirling in grief, and that is okay.  You don't have to rush yourself, even
if 
you're feeling pressure from others.  Grief is such an individual emotion.
I 
remember feeling so much pressure from everyone else- they wanted the 'old' 
Christine back- but I didn't know where to find her.  It's hard to find 
motivation, it's hard to finding meaning in things that used to be
important.  
Give yourself as much time as you need.  I knew logically that I needed to
see 
a therapist, (heck, I AM a therapist- I knew it would help) but it took me a

while to be ready to face it, because I knew it was going to be difficult.  
Finally I simply got sick of feeling miserable all of the time.  But it took
a 
while.  Be gentle with yourself and know that there are others out there who

understand.  You will find your way.  
Lots of hugs,
Christine
Mom to Michael(10), Meagan(8), Sean(7), and Holly T-18, 9-1-2006 

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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