[tri-wings] try again

I know you must think i am a dingbat. For some reason that one paragraph in my 
post keeps getting cut off. I will try one last time and if it doesn't work I 
will just leave it.


I am re-posting this becasue some how part of it got cut off.

Thanks Sandi

Hi all,

This is my first post to wings. I just recently moved on from tri-family and 
med. (actually I cannot get the unsubcribe to work for tri-family, if anyone 
has any suggestions I would appreciate help.) 

My Jonah Ethan was born on April 19, 2002 lived for a few short minutes and 
went to heaven. I was induced at 28 weeks due to polyhydramnios. It was a hard 
place to be becasue I wanted to keep him in as long as I could but my body was 
fighting me. I was having contractions for 3 weeks and getting off the couch to 
go to the bathroom felt like a big accomplishment. At the same time I was 
caring for my 2 year old daughter Journey. I do not really remember how I 
actually did that the last two weeks. Eventually I had to have help. Our 
induction was scheduled for the 18th of April and Jonah was born at 2:03 am on 
April 19, 2002. he was 1 1/2 lbs, 12 inches long. And he was beautiful, I have 
never seen a more perfect set of lips and cutie nose. He actually looked alot 
like my daughter. He came straight to me and he really did not attempt to 
breath. his heart was enlarged and his chest cavity was very under developed. 
He moved his arm and head but never opened his eyes. How I wish he did, it is 
the one thing I really wanted. HIs heart beat for over an hour after he was 
gone. His heart beat was normal all the way till he actually had to take a 
breathe. He also had a large ompholece and clubbed hands. He fought so hard to 
survive. I struggle sometimes with wishing I could have kept him in my womb 
longer.As long as he was there he was safe but I also know the abnormaliites of 
his chest would not have allowed him to breath even at full term. 

So my dh and I sang Jesus Loves you and told him how much we loved him in those 
first few minutes, we said goodbye. We spent the next 6 hours with him. And 
friends came to see him. We had Jonah's memorial on May 4th it was beautiful. 
We did a power point presentation with Jonah's pictures and people shared poems 
they had written etc. It was so encouraging to us. We also did a memory book 
for people to sing and write a message to Jonah or us. We gave out  what we 
called mamory stones to each person who came and a scroll explaining the stones 
significance. PLanning the memorial was a kind of therapy for us. 

It wasn't until 3 weeks after Jonah was gone that the world sorta started 
feeling so unstable. This last week has been a emotional week. The grief takes 
on a deeper place and meaning after all the planning and go go go is over. I am 
doing much better simply becasue I have lost the expectation to get back to 
"normal" What ever that is. Day by day is how we are living our life and I 
think I will keep it that way even as things get easier. Thanks for listening. 
I am looking forward to being apart of wings. I would love to hear peoples 
stories too. To hear about your children. Trisomy or not. Children are such a 
gift whether they stay a long or short period of time.  I am so grateful to 
have a place to come like this. To have support. If anyone is interested in 
seeing pictures of Jonah let me know. I would be proud to send them.

Sandi wife to Aaron mom to Journey ~ 2 &
Jonah Ethan ~ bornand gone  April 19, 2002

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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