[tri-wings] Re: tri-wings Digest V2 #72


LESA~  i still sing to keilab also***  i sing Jesus loves Keilab just like i
did when he was here with us physically***  go on your trip and give
yourself  and your husband time alone to talk with out everyone around***  i
wish i could have done that***  my husband does not talk about it***  go and
try to crack a few smiles***  you know every time you smile, your baby will
be smiling too***  he will smile because it would make him happy to see his
mama smile***  crying is not a bad thing either***  it is not gonna make the
trip bad if you have some good cries***  i have had two good cries since
keilab passed and i always felt better after both***  i just said a prayer
for you***

by His loving grace,
sam, wife to michael
mom to Zane, Ian & Keilab ^i^

----- Original Message -----
From: "FreeLists Mailing List Manager" <ecartis@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
To: "tri-wings digest users" <ecartis@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Thursday, February 28, 2002 12:02 AM
Subject: tri-wings Digest V2 #72


> tri-wings Digest Wed, 27 Feb 2002 Volume: 02  Issue: 072
>
> In This Issue:
> [tri-wings] MY ANGEL STORY
> [tri-wings] weekend trip
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> From: "Michael & Samantha Lyons" <lyonsden719@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> Subject: [tri-wings] MY ANGEL STORY
> Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2002 16:08:14 -0700
>
> God blessed my family with a beautiful baby boy***     Keilab Andrew Lyons
was born 12 Jan 02 @ 802am weighing 6lbs 8oz  with a bilateral cleft palate
and lip,  some intestines comming out of his cord and two spots on the back
of his head where the skin did not close tightly***  i had him c/s because i
had two boys previously by c/s,  zane & ian***  we had no idea this baby boy
was gonna have anything wrong with him***   all i knew at the time after him
being born was that he had the cleft palate and lip and i was told that
could be fixed with plastic surgery***  in the recovery room i found out
about his intestines & was also told that could be fixed and it was later
that night***  as i lay there on the O.R. table i hear them say that he has
to be taken to NICU because he needed oxygen***  of coarse iwas a
concerned***  i was eventually taken to my room where i waited for what
seemed like forever for the dr to come and talk to me***  on the way to my
room from recovery,  they wheeled my bed into NICU next to Keilab's bed so i
could glance at him***  the dr finally came in to tell me the heart breaking
news that Keilab had what he thought was Trisomy 13***  i had never heard of
it before in my life***  tears were falling but the faucet really came on
when he told me these children don't live past their first year***  we were
given our different options***  my husband and i knew from that moment that
it was in God's hands***  as is every thing but don't give it much thought
until you face something like this***  we prayed that God's will would be
done***  we prayed for strength to handle what ever was to come our way***
the test was done and came back positive***  i visited keilab down in NICU &
would sing "Jesus Loves Keilab" every time i went***  i was discharged on
the 16th and it was hard leaving without a baby***   i found out before
leaving keilab would be able to come home that weekend***  something i never
thought would happen***  we had to learn how to put his feeding tube in
before bringing him home on the 19th of January***  a scary but happy day
also***   i was scared to bring him home and have him die here***  i did not
want the memories here to live with me***  on the 21st of jan at about 1100
he had a spell of apnea & my mom was able to stimulate him by rubbing his
chest***  well the next spell of apnea i was the one that found him***  i
did not see the first one***  it scared me to see my baby lying there on the
couch blue as i tryed rubbing his chest and nothing happening***   we called
911 and they came but needed to do nothing because Keilab was a little
fighter***  after about 4- 5 minutes he came back on his own***  his heart
would drop down to 20-30 and then it would come back up to 160***  these
spells went on until 802pm, 21 Jan 02***  (notice time of birth and time of
death)***  every time he would have a spell of apnea i would bend down and
sing "Jesus Loves Keilab" and rub my finger across his forehead***  one time
before he died we were watching him and all of a sudden both of his arms
raised straight up to the ceiling***  he was letting Jesus know he was ready
to go***  keilab's eyes were swollen and was not able to open them very much
or often***  that night before he died he opened them to look at his dad and
i***  i tried closing them because i did not want him to pass with his eyes
open but he opened them right back up***  he was my little tiger***  i knew
that it was another boy but my husband did not until he was born***  we
wanted a girl with this pregnancy***  i would not trade Keilab for the most
beautiful girl in the world***  and if God would give him back to me,  i
would not ask him to make Keilab "perfect" because to me he was perfect***
we gave Keilab back to God 25 Jan 02***  his dad and i carried his little
casket***  he is running on streets of gold with a whole body and he will be
there waiting for me when i go home
>
> last night i had a crazy dream,  a wish was granted just for me, it could
be for anything,  i didn't ask for money or a mansion in malibu, i simply
wished for one more day with you***  one more day, one more time, one more
sunset maybe i'd be satisfied, but then again i know what it would do, leave
me wishing still for one more day with you, one more day***   first thing
i'd do is pray for time to crawl, i'd unplug the telephone, keep the tv off,
i'd hold you every second, say a million i love you's, that's what i'd do
with one more day with you***   one more day, one more time, one more sunset
maybe i'd be satisfied, but then again i know what it would do, leave me
wishing still for one more day with you, one more day
>
> song played at Keilab's viewing
> by His loving grace,
> sam
> mom to Zane-4, Ian -2 & Keilab ^i^
>
>
>
> ------------------------------
>
> From: "LESA KLING" <daltonprice@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
> Subject: [tri-wings] weekend trip
> Date: Wed, 27 Feb 2002 22:1:22 -0600
>
>
>
> My husband Brian and I are taking a trip to Branson Missouri for about 4
> daysstarting this Friday.  Our family is sending us all expenses paid.
> TodayI went shopping for some new clothes with my mother in law.  I felt
so
> guilty.  Here is was getting new clothes for a trip that everyone expects
me
> to have a great time on.  How can I?? How can I allow myself to laugh, to
> eatin fine restaurants and go to fun shows when I just lost my baby a few
> days ago?  I know this is suppose to be good for me.  I hear you and all
who
> tell me, it is OK to smile.  It is ok to have fun.  Be kind to yourself
etc.
> True I need to be able to do some of this.  My heart is so cold from the
> pain.  I want to smile again, but I am afraid to.  I want to eat, but I
feel
> guilty because my baby never could.  I want to let go, but this is all I
> haveleft.  My memories are there, but they are just that. Memories.  I
visit
> his grave everyday.  I still sing to him.  I smell his blanket.  God
please
> tell him I love him.  Give him a kiss from his mommy.    ---
> daltonprice@xxxxxxxxxxxxx[1] --- EarthLink: It's your Internet.
>
>
>
> --- Links ---
>    1 mailto:daltonprice@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
>
> ------------------------------
>
> End of tri-wings Digest V2 #72
> ******************************
>

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