[tri-wings] Re: tri-wings Digest V1 #307 Termination - Attn.: Dina

Hello Dina,

I read your emails and want to introduce myself and tell you my story.  
Hopefully it might help you in your decision.

I am 35 years old and my husband and I were excited to find out that I was 
pregnant in December 2000.  I was due to have our daughter on September 25, 
2001.

I went for an ultrasound at 18 weeks. I seen the baby's hearbeat, head, hands, 
legs, etc.   The doctor seemed to think that the baby was really small so he 
asked me to wait 1 week and come back for another ultrasound, which I did.  He 
then informed me that our little girl, Jenna Leigh had T-13 with 
holoprosencephaly.  She had an extra digit on each hand, her brain did not form 
into lobes, she had kidney and heart abnormalities and she had a cleft palate.  
Although some babies with this trisomy have only one eye and a button for a 
nose, our little girl had both of her eyes and a little bit of a nose.

My husband and I decided to terminate the pregnancy at 20 weeks.  I gave birth 
to Jenna on May 3, 2001.  She weighed 6 ounces.  She was the dearest little 
thing in the whole world.  I got to hold her for awhile, we had her christened 
and then she was gone. I would not have traded that moment for the whole world. 
 She was a being that my husband and I created in love and we were letting her 
go in love.  

Although the whole experience was heartbreaking, I can totally understand where 
you are coming from....not knowing what to do...but whatever you decide, don't 
let anyone tell you that you were wrong.  It is what you feel in your heart.

Yes there will be days where you think "Oh my god did I do the right thing"  
but only you will know that in your heart.

My heart goes out to you and my prayers are with you at this difficult time.

Take care

Kelly DeGruchy
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: FreeLists Mailing List Manager 
  To: tri-wings digest users 
  Sent: Thursday, October 18, 2001 4:00 AM
  Subject: tri-wings Digest V1 #307


  tri-wings Digest Wed, 17 Oct 2001 Volume: 01  Issue: 307

  In This Issue:
  [tri-wings] Jan
  [tri-wings] sue
  [tri-wings] roll call
  [tri-wings] Joe and Dianne
  [tri-wings] Christina
  [tri-wings] Robyn -visit from heaven
  [tri-wings] Margaret
  [tri-wings] Re: What to do !!!!!!
  [tri-wings] Re: termination????help!!!

  ----------------------------------------------------------------------

  Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 19:30:29 -0700 (PDT)
  From: Christina Knight <christina_jane_knight@xxxxxxxxx>
  Subject: [tri-wings] Jan


  Jan,
  I got a notice in the mail saying that Richard Paul
  Evans is going to be in the Dallas area soon. Did you
  get that notice? ARe you going?
  Thanks for your message about Madelyn's birthday. I
  can't believe it was a year ago when she came into our
  lives to change them for the better. What a little
  miracle she is!
  Take care,
  Christina

  __________________________________________________
  Do You Yahoo!?
  Make a great connection at Yahoo! Personals.
  http://personals.yahoo.com

  ------------------------------

  Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 21:32:08 -0500
  Subject: [tri-wings] Re: termination????help!!!
  From: Andreas and Darcy Nahme <ayjayen@xxxxxxxx>


  Dina -

  Please know that the decision you are making is a personal decision and
  none of us here would knock you for it.  You have to do what is right for
  you.  The decision my husband and I made to keep Savannah was an
  extrememly hard one.  We have also decided that if it were to happen
  again, we could not go through it, although we would not trade a minute
  of Savannah's life for anything.  I can't bear to go through the pain and
  heartache again.  Please know that you are in my prayers for the strength
  that you have to carry over the next few day when you go through the
  whole procedure.  If you want, do not be afraid to ask if you can hold
  your baby and spend time with you little one.  Even though your baby is
  very tiny, there have been others that have gone through this and I hope
  someone wrote to you off list about their experience.  I know that my
  little one weighed 4 lbs 12 ozs when she was born (at 41 weeks gestation)
  and when she passed at 6 months old she weighed 6 lbs 9 ozs and I held
  her for a couple hours after she passed.  When you go through with this
  procedure, do what you feel is  right and hopefully you will get the
  support you need.  Please remember that we are here for your support
  also.

  Darcy with the wonderful hubby, Andreas
  Corpus Christi, TX  USA
  Beaming parents of our angel Savannah Kristyne (T-18 12/12/00-6/15/01)
  Savannah's Home Page:
  http://homestead.juno.com/ayjayen/SavannahKristyne.html
  Hug and Love on one another and never take anything for granted... in
  honor of our precious angel Savannah

  ------------------------------

  From: "terri evett" <tevett@xxxxxxxxxx>
  Subject: [tri-wings] sue
  Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 20:38:34 -0700

  Dear Sue,

  Thinking of you and your family as you remember Susanna's birthday tomorrow - 
may it be a day filled with loving memories.

  Love Terri,
  mom to Jack, Rachael(T-13 4/29/82-12/22/98), Dennis, and Kevin


  ------------------------------

  From: "terri evett" <tevett@xxxxxxxxxx>
  Subject: [tri-wings] roll call
  Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 20:43:23 -0700

  Love this idea Demi!  It's been nice reading about everyone again.  My name 
is Terri and my angel is Rachael.  She was a T-13er and passed away Dec. 22, 
1998 of congestive heart failure at age 16 1/2.  I also have three boys.  
Jack-21, Dennis-17, and Kevin-14. I live in the beautiful pacific northwest in 
Idaho.

  Love, 
  Terri mom to Jack,Rachael(T-13 4/29/82-12/22/98), Dennis, and Kevin

  p.s  I'm so glad you able to attend your SOFT conference!  I've been able to 
go to 2 here in the U.S. (both while Rachael was living) and they were great!


  ------------------------------

  From: "terri evett" <tevett@xxxxxxxxxx>
  Subject: [tri-wings] Joe and Dianne
  Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 20:44:42 -0700

  Wow!!!  Congratulations!!!!!!!  I hope all goes wonderfully for you!!!

  Love,
  Terri mom to Jack, Rachael(T-13 4/29/82-12/22/98), Dennis, and Kevin


  ------------------------------

  From: "terri evett" <tevett@xxxxxxxxxx>
  Subject: [tri-wings] Christina
  Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 20:49:51 -0700

  Dear Christina,

  I'm so sorry I wasn't able to post to you in time for Madeline's 1st 
birthday.  How did your day go?  I was thinking about you!!!  

  My husband and I were down in Boise this last weekend to attend Dennis' 
football game and we were able to hook up with my"gas station" family for a 
short while.  It was great!!!  I have to say that I couldn't keep my eyes off  
of Alli - gosh she reminds me sooo much of Rachael.  What a gift it has been 
having this family enter my life - it brings back so many wonderful memories of 
Rachael!!

  Take care and congratulations on your amnio - too cool!!

  Love,
  Terri mom to Jack, Rachael(T-13 4/29/82-12/22/98), Dennis, and Kevin


  ------------------------------

  From: "terri evett" <tevett@xxxxxxxxxx>
  Subject: [tri-wings] Robyn -visit from heaven
  Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 20:52:56 -0700

  Dear Robyn,

  What a truly uplifting post!!  I'm soo glad you had a special "tink" from 
your Brittany in your dream!!

  Love,
  Terri mom to Jack, Rachael(T-13 4/29/82-12/22/98), Dennis, and Kevin


  ------------------------------

  From: "terri evett" <tevett@xxxxxxxxxx>
  Subject: [tri-wings] Margaret
  Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 20:57:26 -0700

  Dear Margaret,

  I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time.  I am here if you would like to 
"talk".  You are in my prayers. I hope you find some peacefull moments.

  Love,
  Terri mom to Jack, Rachael(T-13 4/29/82-12/22/98), Dennis, and Kevin 


  ------------------------------

  From: "margaret   sutton" <uf3086@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
  Subject: [tri-wings] Re: What to do !!!!!!
  Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2001 13:16:15 +1000


  Hi Dina
  I was so sad to read your mail,What a choice to have to make. I had 5
  miscarriages before I had my son with Mosaic Trisomy 13. Back then there was
  nothing to tell you if something was wrong and so we blissfully went through
  the 9 months so happy after losing so many. We were deperate. Were I differ
  from most on the list is that my so Matti lived to nearly 29 years old. I
  cannot tell you how it changed our lives. Needless to say we are just empty
  shells now after devoting 29 years to him. While we love him dearly & would
  not have missed one minute of it, I have to tell you that I would not wish
  another human being to go through the life he had. He missed so much. I know
  God had a greater plan for him but it hardly seemed fair that he would give
  our gorgeous boy so little. I would not like to think of another child going
  through that. But hindsight is a wonderful thing.
  God bless you both and whatever you decide will be the right thing to do.
  Margaret Sutton
  Mum to Greg 33 yrs and Matti forever 28 yrs (Mosaic Trisomy 13)
  Sydney Australia

  One day at a time.


  ------------------------------

  From: FJF237@xxxxxxx
  Date: Thu, 18 Oct 2001 00:52:59 EDT
  Subject: [tri-wings] Re: termination????help!!!

  Dear Dina,
     We did not know about our son's prognosis-trisomy 18-until he was born.  I 
  never had to make this heart wrenching decision, but here's my story.  My son 
  was born via c-section and put on life support.  Once he was on life support 
  we could not take him off for religious reasons.  (there were ethical medical 
  questions as well that would've involved the hospital's ethical committee and 
  maybe the courts.)  My son lived for 7 months in the NICU at New York 
  Presbyterian. (Cornell)  He was much loved by everyone who came in contact 
  with him.  We have 3 healthy sons at home and are expecting a baby next 
  month!  I had an amnio this time and everything looks fine.  Theres light at 
  the end of the tunnel!

  Fay Mom of Herman-8, Jacob-6, Moshe 5, and little Nathan full T18  
  10/28/99--5/24/00 



  ------------------------------

  End of tri-wings Digest V1 #307
  *******************************


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