[tri-wings] Re: [tri-family] advice please...

Pam, 
I am so grieved this happened to you - all my emotions are filling up ...
I am sorry you had to experience this ...


I would write this doctor a letter.
How could she have not known you are a bereaved parent?
How could she have not reviewed her notes if her memory failed her on
details?
How can she claim to dose with meds if she herself is not accountable for
understanding the underlying issues?
How could she be unprepared for your visit?  

She was trusted until this one swooping conversation of words set you back.
Your doctors are not supposed to set you back - one might expect that from
an unsuspecting stranger or someone with less info on the details .... but
you PAID her to listen to you and you PAID her to help you and she has shown
her ignorance and lack of due diligence when it comes to her professional
aptitude.  

Yes, I would write a letter to her, I would copy the board that oversees
licenses.  



 
-----Original Message-----
From: tri-family- On Behalf Of pam&darrell
To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Cc: Tri-Family@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subject: [tri-family] advice please...
....
i went to my shrink yesterday to get my meds updated. i have been being
"treated"  for depression for what seems like gazillions of years, before
tyler's life and loss. i have always thought she was a bit of a nut job
herself, but that is only my opinion.  she is a big fan of just throwing
meds at every issue and i am not.  

picture this: she asks how are my stress levels lately.  i tell her high
because 1) we have a new granddaughter, born six weeks early, ng tube,
elongated head, etc and it brought us back a couple years to tyler's birth
2) i am working on some issues with a social worker regarding shame/past
abuse issues and 3 ) it was the first angel day for rebecca, a wonderful
girl and i was feeling awful for her parents and family, reflecting on the
trisomy funpark, etc

she said, "oh.  feeling bad for them?  how is your son doing?" well, was i
taken aback.  

a few of you have met me and you may have noticed i am usually quick with
words, rarely stumped by such things.  12 years in jail prepared me for
almost anything, i must say. i was so flabbergasted i simply said, " well,
he is dead.  he died at four months of age.  i believe we have discussed
this."

now, my dilemma.  she has plunged me into a pretty heavy crying jag/feeling
bad time.  i want to write her a note explaining things to her.  how
counterproductive her approach is, would it kill her to read her notes
before seeing a client, etc.  what do any of you willing to weigh in think?
would you address her alone, report her to her governing body,  something
else?  she could damage so amny people, it makes me worry.  she sure has put
my week in the toilet, i can tell you. i know we are not supposed to swear
in our posts, but damnit, i am an angry woman. what the hell was this dr.
thinking?

thank you for listening, 

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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