[tri-wings] Re: touched by lynn's story

On 11/29/06, Jennifer ayers <jennenergy@xxxxxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> lynn,
>  thanks for sharing, i'll admit i generally lurk, because i'm the one who is 
> having trouble connecting to my child "who is different, who is not supposed 
> to live, who is not going to be here very long"
>  i'm the one who has self protective walls built up around me, that i have to 
> rip down, one painfull block at a time.
>  and I'm his mother, the one who is carrying him...
>  I'm the one who cried..."I can't have a handicapped child!!"
>  My husband is the one who loves Mitchell already and we are only 7 months 
> pregnant yet...
>  so I  admit I balled when I read your story
>  thankss for sharing
>  Today we also had a 3D ultrasound, WOW  WOW  WOW
>  Mitchell has my nose...
>  sniff sniff....
>  jenn


Oh Sweetheart!!!

I too felt that way when Jessica was born and kick myself so hard now.
 While I was pregnant I was fine, I relished every moment with her and
wanted her in there forever.  When she was born, I was so afraid of
gettng attached - we only had her for an hour and 36 minutes and I
wasted that precious 96 minutes.  I held her but was not afraid at all
of handing her off - I deal with the guilt.  If you can get through
this before Mitchell is born you will be so much better off.  Try to
savor everything you can, these special kids teach us that - about
everything and everyone.  I love more now, I hold on to memories more
now, I look for dreams more now.  Jessica is still teach me to learn
from everything.  We just never know and have to live for the moment.
Bless you through this time, I hope that you can let go and enjoy your
precious Mitchell.  It's going to hurt if you lose him no matter what,
you can sheild yourself - but that could make it worse in the end.
Love your baby with all your heart and the rewards will pay off.

I hope that you are also on the Med or Family list.  You will gain so
much from there by hearing about the little soldiers that have beaten
the odds.


-- 
hugs,
Deanna~~~~
mom to Nicole 18, Jake 14, Jessica 4, ( in Heaven 05/04/02) and Rylee 3 .

meet Jessica @ http://home.mchsi.com/~warpehoski

"I live in my own little world.  But it's ok, they know me here!"
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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