[tri-wings] Re: termination????help!!!I did terminate

Hi Dina

You have a very difficult road ahead of you.
I read all the posts and it seems that I am the only one that did terminate.
Here is a little of my story.
I have in the past had 3 miscarriages.
Then I was blessed with a healthy baby, Jenna, now 22 months.
I wanted to have 2 children so Jenna would not be an only child.
Well, I got pregnant.  I passed the relief stage of 12 weeks and all was 
going so good.
Then because of my age (40) I had to have an amnio.I skipped the AFT blood 
test.
It came back positive for T-18.
I knew that this chromosomal abnormality would not be compatible with like 
and there was no chance of my baby surviving/.
I did termite the pregnancy.
I went into the hospital in the morning and the DR and the nurses told me I 
was in for a bad day. Yes, it was bad.
I did get to hold my little John and although he wasn't alive, I held him and 
kissed him and let him know he is loved.  I like to think of it that he is in 
heaven in care of my Mom and Dad.
After, I was sad (and that is an unestimation)
My personal (and this is just me) opinion was to terminate.
There was no way I could have carried the baby to term to watch him die in an 
hour, a week or whatever. The baby didn''t have a chance and I was made aware 
of it
so, I chose to terminate. That wasn't an easy choice for sure.
In my heart,, I feel I did the right thing for me.
The nurses at the hospital were great and took pictures of John, and got his 
little outfit.
Handling it afterward wasn''t east. But, You manage.
There were times that I wanted to bust out and cry my eyes out...
I know what you are facing and it is a hard decision. Do what you feel right 
in your heart and don't let anyone criticize you for it.
This trisomy thing strikes randomly and it isn't fair. Not to you or the baby 
or your family.
It isn't anything that you did, it happened at conception. So, don't go into 
the "what if" land.
Dina, my heart goes out to you.
Whatever your decision, make sure that it is right for you and don't let 
anyone tell you what is in your heart is wrong.
I am now trying for another baby. Yes, at 40!!!
If you would like to talk to me more about it, you can email me at 
Bayeta99@xxxxxxx
My heart and my best wishes are with you. I can totally relate to your 
situation.
You take care and know that you are not alone.
This list is a great place that can relate to what is happening to you.
I need to run now.
Best of luck whatever your decision may be. Just follow your heart.
Your friend, Betsy
Mon to Jenna Grace 22 months and John Dominick T18 07-06-01

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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