[tri-wings] Re: stages of grief

Barb
 
I remember feeling the same way. I was smiling at people and yes, sometimes  
teary, but it was just so unreal sitting there in church and not believing my  
daughter was not here anymore. Someone in the back was moaning and sobbing  
audibly and I was like, what is up with that?? I remember going back to our  
house after the funeral and my other children's teachers and some of my  
employees had arranged, prepared and paid for all the food to have at the 
house.  I 
was astounded and I can see myself smiling and just radiating in all the love  
they all provided to me, I think people expected to be picking me up off the  
floor and I was actually smiling and drinking a beer. So many people just 
jumped  in and did so much. It was Christmas time and one of my secretaries, 
together  with her woman's group at her church, decided to make our family 
their 
giving  project that year. They bought and wrapped and brought over a ton of 
Christmas  presents from Santa for my kids. My neighbors all decorated our 
house 
with  Christmas lights and my son's teacher went out and got us a tree. Food 
never  stopped, I got so many cards, statues, rosaries and visits I could not 
believe  it. One of my clients was so touched by Emma, she and her daughter 
began  knitting baby newborn caps for the local NICU which were donated in 
Emma's 
name.  All these things, I think, cause us to bask in the glory of the love 
and step  away from the anger that is naturally there. That is where God comes 
in, I  think, and He sends us legions of angels to lift us out of the pain and 
 misery. The pain still hit me, it was just on and off. Later on when things  
die down a bit and you are left with empty arms, and no one knows that your 
pain  is still there, the anger sets in again. The process is such a roller  
coaster. 
 
If you are interested in a very interesting account of one person's grief  
after losing her daughter to T18, go to _www.rowantreefoundation.org_ 
(http://www.rowantreefoundation.org)  and  read "The round room" by Corrine 
O'Flynn. I 
found it to be an excellent  description of grief.  

                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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