[tri-wings] Re: stages of grief
- From: Midwifehelp@xxxxxxx
- To: tri-wings@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 21 Feb 2006 09:53:32 EST
Barb
I remember feeling the same way. I was smiling at people and yes, sometimes
teary, but it was just so unreal sitting there in church and not believing my
daughter was not here anymore. Someone in the back was moaning and sobbing
audibly and I was like, what is up with that?? I remember going back to our
house after the funeral and my other children's teachers and some of my
employees had arranged, prepared and paid for all the food to have at the
house. I
was astounded and I can see myself smiling and just radiating in all the love
they all provided to me, I think people expected to be picking me up off the
floor and I was actually smiling and drinking a beer. So many people just
jumped in and did so much. It was Christmas time and one of my secretaries,
together with her woman's group at her church, decided to make our family
their
giving project that year. They bought and wrapped and brought over a ton of
Christmas presents from Santa for my kids. My neighbors all decorated our
house
with Christmas lights and my son's teacher went out and got us a tree. Food
never stopped, I got so many cards, statues, rosaries and visits I could not
believe it. One of my clients was so touched by Emma, she and her daughter
began knitting baby newborn caps for the local NICU which were donated in
Emma's
name. All these things, I think, cause us to bask in the glory of the love
and step away from the anger that is naturally there. That is where God comes
in, I think, and He sends us legions of angels to lift us out of the pain and
misery. The pain still hit me, it was just on and off. Later on when things
die down a bit and you are left with empty arms, and no one knows that your
pain is still there, the anger sets in again. The process is such a roller
coaster.
If you are interested in a very interesting account of one person's grief
after losing her daughter to T18, go to _www.rowantreefoundation.org_
(http://www.rowantreefoundation.org) and read "The round room" by Corrine
O'Flynn. I
found it to be an excellent description of grief.
Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
www.trisomyonline.org
Families Helping Families On-line
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