[tri-wings] stages of grief

Mandy and Bess I think you mention some very real issues regarding only
revealing the pos part of the trisomy experience- whether the physical
abnormalities or the anger in grief.   After all the stress of the pregnancy
and in Annie's life (6 weeks living in the hosp, being home with oxygen,
monitors, the fear of something bad happening every second) when our poor
sweet baby died, I was emotionally exhausted. We loved her with all of our
hearts but none of the whole experience was what you would call a picnic.  
Ihad always thought my daughters funeral would be a total devastation. After
all, I was emotionally devasted just reading about everyone else funeral for
the previous 6 months. During Annie's funeral I was emotionally removed from
the scene. The idea of what was really happening was so awful that I just
couldn't be present. I think I must have been the most composed mother at
herchild's funeral in the world, and I had a lot of guilt about that.   A
friend who had a t18 (I met her while expecting) described her stages of
grief and I felt much better. She said it was at its worst 6 months later.
Like me, she had a prenatal diagnosis.( I would guess that the grief process
may be a little different?)   When we choose to filiter out all the bad
partsto the world, I guess its like brushing your hair when you go out in
public; you only want to reveal the best side. And I guess its how we
desperately want to feel; only the good and try to forget the bad.   It
seemshere on the wing site we have to be honest about it all (if not here,
where ?) It would be awful for someone to feel all the bad stuff and then
everything they read is just about glowing and gushing stories of love-
filtered.   Those are my thoughts, and I think when I write my "story" I am
going to add a bit of reality, thanks to your comments. Barb Ps. I am not
sure I have ever submitted photos. I have attached a pic of Annie with one
ofmy big daughters-Annie is about 1 week old there. 
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                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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