[tri-wings] our week of losses pg mentoined

Only this group understands like most don't. The anniversaries of our childrens 
losses were this past week.  Our daughter Rebecca who died last year on 3-28 
had her 21st birthday in heaven on 3-08.  I walked the mall by myself on 3-7.  
I couldn't be home taking care of the other 5 children it was a very sad day. 
Monday was our sons 9th birthday and the 7th anniversay of our Magdalena's 
death.  That night I dreamt of one of our twins that I'm pg with.  He was 
beautiful and about 5.  He had jet black hair and was very quiet.  Wed night I 
didn't "feel" right and woke up at 6am on Thur morn and "knew" we had lost the 
twin I had dreamt about. Fri I had a scheduled U/S and before the tech got two 
far she said "I'm so" and I cut her off and said we've lost baby b Gabriel 
haven't we?  She was stunnned that I knew like I did. They aren't sure why I 
lost him at 17 1/2 weeks.
The Perinatologist I had has different views than we do and I choose not to 
have an amnio. The Nucheal Fold Test at 12 weeks came back ''normal" and the 
sequestiol test was normal 2x.  So perhaps it was a twin-twin transfusion.  
Without the amnio she said we wouldn't know. So now I'm carrying Gabriel until 
we have Thomas.  The boys are idential twins in seperate sacks with a shared 
placeta.

We'll bury Gabriel with one of our daughters when the time comes.

I can't believe how sad I am at this loss and how it's affecting me.  I'm a 
person of very strong faith so I know where all of my deceased children are I 
just can't believe we have 6 in heaven.  I have met women who have had multiple 
miscarriages like 8 but oh my goodness!

So please pray for me and the rest of this pregnancy and my family.  This has 
been the breaking point for 4 of my children and we will start therapy with a 
Christian counselor who specializes in grief like this.

God bless,

Dawn

 Mother to 12. 5 here with one still growing inutero and 6 in heaven.  Oldest 
dd with Spina Bifida that died 3-28-08 at 20 and One full T-18 who lived 25 
days 7 years ago. 3 miscarriages and one inutero at 17 1/2 week twin last week.
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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