[tri-wings] i feel rotten...

just a warning in case it may not be a good day for anyone reading this. i just 
need to express how i feel right now.
yesterday, we filled out forms for an insurance policy on our little guy.  my 
husband was an agent, so our life insurance  is always in order.  all of our 
kids are on the policy as a waiver.  no one ever expects to collect on it.  the 
agent who came out to help is a close friend.  it was her first death claim, so 
it was hard.  even worse, she has known both our kids since before they were 
born(they both kicked her more than once!). we were all messed up by this.  it 
will be three months since we lost tyler at the end of february.  i felt like i 
lost him all over again.  today i am having the bodynumbing pain again, the 
physical pain of loss.  it is almost more than i can take.

on top of this, a relative who helped us install our new furnace and lied to us 
about the price has convinced my uncle (his f.i.l.) that they paid some of the 
cost because they felt we had enough pain to deal with from our loss.  he told 
us it would cost $4,000, then tried to say after that it was $6,000.
we paid $5000 and said the rest would come with proof.  when i got no answers, 
i called his subcontractor only to find he had lied about the cost of the sub 
and pocketed the extra money himself(he claimed he only took 500 but actually 
took 750). when i asked him why he lied, he denied it.  when pressed, he said 
he took the money because we are too cheap to pay.  these people have been 
bailed out by us before, so they know we are not cheap.  the worst part is that 
he has convinced my uncle that we chose not to pay(despite evidence to the 
contrary).  better yet,he insinuated that they had tried to help me because of 
my son's loss and this is how we repaid them.  i have never been hurt so badly 
by anyone in my life.  my cousin was like a sister to me.  i am infuriated that 
someone who would stoop low enough to steal from me would also use my son as a 
weapon.  my uncle claimed none of this was any of his business, but he sure 
knew all the details.  sure does not really want to believe that i may be 
telling the truth when i have never lied to him.

 i guess there is no point to allof this except that i needed to get it out.  i 
feel destroyed and demoralized.  how much worse can things get?  i suppose the 
only really good thing right now is that my father in law has amazed his 
doctors andis recovering from tumor removal surgery very well(brain).  
for any one who made it thru all of that, thanks for listening.  i try to be 
opimistic and positive but i seem to be having a hard time this week.
pam, mum to t13 angel tyler
elora ontario 
                  Building ___ooOOoo__ Rainbows
                       www.trisomyonline.org
                  Families Helping Families On-line

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