[tri-wings] Re: hope everyone is ok/Ann

That's what I mean. If I think hard, I can still smell her. It's the worst 
feeling I've ever had. To not hold your child anymore. She is gone forever and 
I 
will always remember how sweet she was. When Gabby felt good(first weeks) she 
would look around at her mobile and look right at me. The doc.s told us she 
won't even know who we were or act like a "normal" baby. She sure showed them. 
They were so amazed by Gabby. They also said she won't suck or eat though her 
mouth. It took about two days but, Shawn and I got her to suck finally. She 
would get going so good then, you would have to make her take a break. She 
would 
pause with her breathing when she ate. Sometimes turning blue. I pumped 
breast milk for seven weeks. The last week she was alive, she won't eat at all. 
I 
miss her. But I know she feels better now. I think of the first four weeks and 
they were wonderful. the last was the hardest thing for a parent to watch 
their child suffer. She just couldn't breath because of her heart problem. 

Ambre: Mother to Gage( 9) & Gabriella T-13 full:10/6/04-12/1/04


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